I just buried my face in Vax’s shoulder.
They were right, it would be okay.
And I was definitely in some trauma state, some hypervigilant state.
But it wasn’t helping things anymore. Sanctus was gone. Ruxnoth was running scared—and infected now too.
The way I’d been playing things while stuck down here didn’t translate to this change to the situation.
I was free now.
There was no more dangerous game to be played.
I could… I could just be me again.
And I really believed, with my loves beside me, I’d be able to fall back into that.
To find my way back to the real me.
Not what that motherfucker had made of me.
19
~Vaxan~
Winter had finally settled.
Somewhat.
It had taken several hours before he’d managed to sit still for more than a few minutes at a time.
When we’d first emerged back onto the mortal plane, his entire family and their close allies had swarmed around him welcoming him back. Including the six necromancers who had allied with Winter down there in Sanctus.
Fortunately, it hadn’t taken his parents—and Ketheron—long to realize that it had been overwhelming him, so it had lasted for no more than thirty minutes, before Evira, Zayn, and I had been able to take him home.
To our new home that he’d never seen before.
I’d considered taking him back to his family home for the sake of the comfort of familiarity, but given that he’d spent so many years there essentially locked down from the world, I was concerned that a similar mentality could set in for him all too quickly, while he was in this somewhat fragile state.
The dormitories at Loxley Academy were in far too much of a high-profile space.
When he’d stepped across the threshold of the house, his whole face had lit up.
And, yes, it had also clearly given him a lot to focus on and explore in his highly erratic state.
He’d even started work on a figurine at the jewelry-making station I’d fashioned for him upstairs. Although it had taken the form of a very creepy-looking, twisted creature. I was concerned as to whether it was perhaps a nod to Ruxnoth, or far worse, even himself. Zayn had told Evira and I what had transpired in that room, the Core Chamber, and the rage Winter had exhibited, the pain he’d inflicted on Ruxnoth. Something obviously not like him at all. His reaction was most definitely justified, so my concern was rooted in how Winter was viewing himself in light of that. If he was feeling shame, it would complicate his recovery and hurt him so very deeply, and unduly.
The details of Ruxnoth’s manipulations that Zayn had reported in great detail, how precisely he talked with and engaged with Winter were very helpful to me. It meant I could determine how to counter it. Especially if Winter had internalized it, which we wouldn’t know until he’d had some time to decompress. Fresh off battle was far from the optimal time to begin delving into that sort of thing. He needed calm, he needed comfort, and some sense of normalcy.
He'd taken a shower an hour ago, and when he’d finished, the three of us had been right there to watch over him again, but then he’d walked out naked and tried to seduce us all into a“long overdue sex marathon”as he’d so aptly termed it. Despite the need raging through all of us to do just that, we’d managed to veer him off that track. At least for a little while. We couldn’t engage in that sort of thing yet. Not with him in this fragile state. Not until he’d at the very least gotten a good night’s sleep and reclaimed a sense of safety he’d been missing for far too long.
It was awful enough that he was going to be compromised physically soon. He’d briefly told us about thecurative immersionshe’d been through to heal from theNihilumbratorture that Ruxnoth had subjected him to. With all that had transpired earlier tonight, especially the Fuel Core aspect, everything of Ruxnoth’s that had been in his system had been emptied out. That chill would return all too soon and destabilize his equilibrium. Ambrose was working on the development of a version of Ruxnoth’s living warmth that would be permanent for Winter. It was just a matter of time now. But in the meantime it meant that feeding from Zayn would be Winter’s only relief, and that hadn’t proven to be enough last time.
Winter leaned against my shoulder as we sat on the brown leather couch, one of the blue throws draped over him and Evira. She was on his other side and exhausted, requiring some recovery time after her astonishing feat earlier. I’d thought I’d be experiencing much the same thing now that my people’s vibrational resonance had utterly left my system, but I was actually rather wired.
I smiled as Winter stroked Evira’s hand in his.
“Vax?” he murmured.
