“Of course,” Theo agreed.
“But we can definitely work together on this,” Charles finished. “Let’s set up a dinner in a few weeks’ time to sign a contract. In the meantime, we can work out all the details.”
“Excellent.” Theo stood and held out his hand. “I’m looking forward to it.”
Charles took his hand, and the two men shook. Then Theo escorted Charles out as they made more small talk about their families and holiday plans.
It should have been a triumphant moment, one of the highlights of Theo’s career. He’d worked so hard for this. Yet it all felt flat, somehow. He’d thought the contract with Charles was the most important thing, worth risking a complicated ruse and pretending to be someone he wasn’t. Now, though he was happy to have landed a tentative agreement, he wasn’t as overjoyed as he should have been.
Worse, without the pitch as an excuse anymore, Theo had little distraction from thoughts of Nina. He stayed at the office as long as he could before going home, hoping she’d be asleep already.
No such luck. When he got home, Nina was working at the kitchen table. She looked up as he came in, and her face lit up.
“Hey,” she said, smiling as she closed the lid of her laptop. “The pitch was today, right? How did it go?”
“Perfectly,” Theo said. He hovered at the edge of the table. “We still have some details to iron out, but Charles said we’d likely have a deal to sign in a few weeks.”
“That’s amazing news!” Nina stood and took a step towards Theo, her arms lifting as though she was about to hug him. Thenshe hesitated, her arms falling to her sides. Theo’s heart ached at her uncertainty. He wanted to gather her into his arms and thank her profusely and share his success with her. He didn’t.
“Congratulations,” Nina said.
“Thanks. I’d better?—”
“Hey, don’t say you have to work,” Nina smiled. “You’ve been working so hard these last few days, and you deserve a little break. How about I heat you up some dinner?”
“Okay.” Theo wasn’t sure how to say no without hurting her feelings, and he wanted to spend time with her, so he sat at the table as she went into the kitchen. They’d done this many times before, but it felt different now. Theo stared down at the surface of the table as Nina took a plate out of the cupboard.
“I’m happy for you,” she said, “and, selfishly, for myself. Now that the pitch is over, I hope Jack and I will get to spend a little more time with you.” She smiled over her shoulder at Theo, but he didn’t return the gesture.
“You want to see more of me,” Theo repeated, his tone neutral.
“Of course.” Nina took the plate out of the microwave and set it in front of him. Today’s dinner was mashed potatoes with gravy, slices of roast beef, and a side of carrots. Theo didn’t pick up the fork she’d put in front of him. “And Jack does, too. He’s getting ready for his choir performance, and he’s so excited. It’s all he’s been talking about. He told me that they’re singing a song called ‘King Winkinclaus.’He kept telling me about how the song was about Santa Claus as a king and how he always winked at people. It took me a while to realize he was talking about ‘Good King Wenceslas!’” Nina grinned as she sat across from Theo. “Adorable, right?”
But Theo could barely listen. He was just staring down at his plate as worry built in his stomach. His heart and mind were racing.
“Theo?” Nina leaned closer, “Are you okay? You seem very far away.”
“I’m fine,” Theo said coldly.
Nina stiffened. “Um, that didn’t sound fine. Did something go wrong today? Do you… need to put in more hours or something?” She bit her lip. “I mean, we’d miss you, but we’d understand.”
“I do need to put in more hours.” Theo finally looked up at her. His plate of food was growing cold in front of him, but he didn’t care. It was nothing compared to the panic growing inside him. “Ialwaysneed to put in more hours.”
“Okay…” Nina crossed her arms. Her warm smile had changed into a guarded expression.
“I’ve been home a lot these last few weeks, but that was just because of our ruse,” Theo said. “It’s normal for me to work eighty-hour weeks. You can’t expect me to be home all the time or to build my schedule around what you canunderstand. I thought I was clear that I always put my work first.”
“Theo,” Nina said, her voice low, “I never asked you to put aside your work or to be home all the time. I just thought it would be nice to see more of each other.”
“There’s no need,” Theo said coldly. The panic in his stomach had worked its way into his chest now.
Nina wanted him to change who he was. Even if she didn’t know it. She was asking him to go back to the way things had been forthe last few weeks, when he’d put aside his work to play catch with Jack and watch dumb movies with her. It had been fun. Of course it had. But it had always been temporary. Theo had thought Nina understood that.
Their night together had been a mistake, even though it had also been the best night of Theo’s life and had felt incredibly right. He shouldn’t have let the boundaries blur like that, though. Now, Nina expected him to turn into the version of himself he’d been in their ruse — a man who loved his family more than his work.
The worst part was that Theo was tempted to do it. He was tempted to put aside more than a decade of hard work and struggle so that he could go to the aquarium, and have Nina steal his popcorn while they watched a movie, and fall asleep with her in his arms.
He couldn’t let that happen.
