“Oh, no,” he laughed cruelly. “The things that make my dead heart sing are much worse than anything I’ve dared to say to you.”
“Then say it, you coward.”
“I will say them over your grave someday, you have my word on that.”
“You will undoubtedly be the first to perish, and I willrevelin it.”
His expression softened, shaking his head knowingly at me.
“There it is,” he praised, “even your words of malice are sweet like honey.”
“You betray me again and again. Your loyalties lie with nobody except yourself.”
“Betrayyou? Youleftme!”
“You abandoned me when I needed you most and then joined in on the fun.”
His brow furrowed as he breathed in, the tip of his cigarette growing brighter from the anxious drag. “I did not feed.”
“Liar,” I bit out, “you didn’t fight for me.”
“It isn’t so simple.”
“You killed many around me for a simple raise of the tongue, yet you couldn’t kill Luka.”
“He has years on me and was surrounded by people with whom I am not in good graces with.”
“Youjoinedhim.”
“What was I to do? Watch him tear into you? Listen to your screams? Watch as he drained you within an inch of your life?”
“You should have found it within your cold, dead heart to kill me,” I snapped.
He was quiet, shaking his head, a smile of amusement on his face. “Then what? You turn? You told me to be less impulsive and to think about how my actions might affect you—and that’s what I did.”
“How?”
“Well, you’re alive, are you not?”
I swallowed, watching as he ashed the cigarette, seemingly losing interest in it and me, as he stared off somewhere.
“You can hate me all you like, if it makes you feel better, but I did notjoin,” he spat the word like it was rotten in taste, rubbing his thumb over his brow as if the conversation was wearing him. “It killed me to know that the only kindness I could give to you in your moment of need was sedation. It hurts more knowing that you saw it as a betrayal. I washelping you.”
“You’re selfish.”
“Iam. I’m selfish, I’m greedy, and I wanted you tolive. I knew you would hate me, but I know you well enough to know you would have hated yourself if you became...”
“Like you?” I finished for him.
“Like me,” he repeated quietly.
That is where his comments ended. Something about his words was tired, longing to say something more, but deciding against it.
28
THE POISONER
The morning light shimmered as it passed through the specks of dust lazily floating through the bedroom.
