I pulled the gloves off over the basin and then turned the water on over them, watching the blood flood the drain before dissipating until the water ran mostly clear.
I nearly forgot that I had a golden-haired guest waiting ever so patiently at the door until I looked over and saw him leaning on the frame, watching. His pale eyes watched steadily, I do not know for how long.
It was a grim reminder of a different kind of predator in our midst.
After departing, I could not hear anything Silas said; I was deep in thought as we passed through the park on the way back, since the sun was fighting through the overcast clouds before the storm ahead. I watched my skirt as it dusted the fresh white powder on the path. With each step I avoided cracks and rocks to distract from the bitter cold.
I was stopped in my tracks by Silas hooking his fingers into the back of my collar, stopping me as I nearly choked.
“What is it?” I clicked my tongue.
“Could we talk?”
“What is there to talk about?”
“It would be harder to choose whatnotto talk about.”
“Spit it out then.” I crossed my arms.
“Why do you use venom?”
“How else do I test a drug?”
“No, why doyouuse it? You know it works; you do not need tests.”
“I quit drinking.”
“In exchange for something more dangerous?”
“You did not mind it when it wasyouenvenomating me.”
He was stunned, shocked as if he didn’t know how to respond. I would not let go of my pride, not so he could lecture me. What did he know about coping? He was the one responsible for the phantom pains that lived within my body; he had no right to judge me. I did not need a coat anymore, for I could feel the heat rising in tandem with my anger.
“I will never understand you.” He swatted some of the snow from his hair as it steadily fell from the sky.
“You never will, that would require empathy.”
He laughed and shook his head. “I do not need empathy to figure you out. You refer to me as a simple creature; you are not much different. You are a feral, disagreeable villain?—”
“Then leave me be if you think so lowof me.”
“No, my dearest shadow.” He stepped forward to cup my face in his hands. “It is what I like most about you. Every time you look at me with those unforgiving eyes, I feel you could do anything to me. You could squeeze my heart, and it would still beat proudly for you, swelling until it bursts in your fist.”
“Always the poet, never the lover,” I scoffed, but I did not dare move away from his touch.
“I will always be your lover, even if that love is unrequited.” He glanced at my lips through lowered lashes, our foreheads resting against each other. I found myself shaking, his touch reminding me how chilled it really was. “You won’t admit that I am the only one to make an unfeeling thing like you feel alive.Trulyalive,” he whispered.
“Do you make me feel alive, or wish for death?”
“I would give you both, if you let me.”
Our breath mingled in the air. How jealous I was of the mist that could escape. Even then, just us being close enough to let each breath disguise itself together was too scandalous of an insinuation for me.
“Use me.” The corner of his lip curved upward into a smirk. “Let me keep you warm for a while.” His whisper nearly registered as a hiss when the wind whistled through the small gap between us.
“Will you not grant me any sort of peace?” I mumbled, pushing at his chest.
“We could only be each other’s peace; we are too chaotic to find it elsewhere.”
