Because if he saw me like this, standing in the dark and staring up at his window like the unhinged, lovesick mess I was, his expression would change.
I could see it already…his mouth curving in disgust, his eyes going cold.
He’d never look at me the same way again.
The front door opened.
The sound was so sudden and unexpected that my whole body jolted. My breath caught mid-chest, nerves snapping tight. For a second, I thought I’d imagined it…that my brain had finally turned on me completely.
But then light spilled across the porch as the door was opened wider, cutting through the dark.
Matty stepped outside. Sneakers on, keys in hand, hair messy like he’d been pacing instead of sleeping. A worn gray Henley clung to his chest, and for a second he just stood there, scanning the street.
His brow furrowed, like he was turning something over in his head.You’re being stupid, I thought I heard him whisper.
Panic surged through me, cutting through the haze of shock. Every part of me screamed to move, to run, to do something, but my feet were still refusing to obey, heavy and unresponsive, as if fear itself had pinned me to the ground.
His gaze swept the street until it locked on me, and in an instant, everything inside me went quiet.
He froze, just for a second, like he couldn’t quite believe what he was seeing.
I braced myself, waiting for the dread and disgust to twist his face, waiting for him to finally see me the way every other man eventually did when they realized what I was.
Except…it didn’t come.
His eyes widened, and his whole face lit up, raw and real and achingly bright.
“Thankfuck,” he called in a voice rough with…relief?
Was that what I’d really just heard?
Before I could even think, heran—across the walkway, down the steps, straight toward me.
I stumbled back a step, too stunned to do anything but stand there as he reached me, his hands catching my waist, pulling me into him like he’d been waiting his whole life to find me.
He buried his face in my neck, his breath shuddering, inhaling deep like he was gulping me in.
“I was losing my fucking mind,” he muttered unsteadily against my skin, the words vibrating against my throat. His arms locked tighter around me, like if he let go even for a second, I’d vanish.
I was still frozen, every nerve ending on fire. I didn’t know what to do with my hands or my heart or the thousand wild thoughts clawing through my head. I’d spent so long imagining this—him seeing me, wanting me—and now that it was happening, now that it didn’t seem to be a one time fluke…I couldn’t breathe.
He pulled back just enough to look at me, his eyes sweeping over my face like he needed to soak in every inch, to prove I was real. The porch light behind him haloed his silhouette, and when he lifted his head, his eyes were a fierce, impossible blue.
“I was beginning to think I’d made you up,” he said quietly, like he didn’t even mean to say it out loud. “Like you were just…in my head.”
My lips parted, but no sound came out.
“I couldn’t stop thinking about you,” he continued, a small, disbelieving laugh slipping through. “Every time I closed my eyes, you were there. And when I couldn’t find you anywhere, I started thinking maybe I’d dreamed the whole thing.”
He broke off, shaking his head as his thumb brushed my jaw, soft and trembling. “I thought maybe you didn’t want to see me again.”
The words hit somewhere deep. The thought of himsearchingfor me was too much, almost unbearable. My chest felt like it might crack open from the pressure building inside.
“You…searched for me?” The question came out in a gasp before I could stop it, the sound shaky, like I was afraid of the answer.
Something flickered in his eyes…something that wasn’t just relief. It glimmered there for an instant, a flash of knowing that made my stomach twist. His thumb stilled against my cheek, his voice low but certain.
“I need your number,” he said, like it wasn’t a question. “Your dorm room. All of it.”
