That got their attention.
Jace stopped mid-rant and leaned over the back of the couch. “Um…tell me that’s not what I think it is.”
Parker finally looked up from his phone, his eyes widening. “No,” he said immediately.
I frowned. “I didn’t even say anything yet.”
Jace pointed at the spread like it might bite him. “Because I already know that look. That’s your I’m-about-to-ask-you-to-do-something-stupid face.”
“I’m pretty sure you’re the only one with that kind of face,” I drawled, raising an eyebrow.
Jace grinned unrepentantly.
Parker dropped his phone onto the cushion beside him, scrubbing a hand over his jaw. “Matty, you can’t just…tattoo things.”
“Not things,” I corrected, grinning as I picked up the machine and examined it like I actually knew what I was doing. “People.”
Jace barked out a laugh. “Is now a good time to tell you I like my skin without tetanus?”
“Come on,” I said, sitting forward and plugging a cord into the power pack. “You two always say I never try new hobbies. Look at me—personal growth.”
“I literally haveneversaid you need to try new hobbies,” Parker exclaimed.
I grinned and reached for the thick instruction pamphlet, flipping it open just long enough to see a wall of diagrams and safety warnings. The thing read like a legal contract mixed with medical jargon.
I stared at it for maybe two seconds before tossing it back onto the table. “Yeah, I think that YouTube video I watched is gonna be more helpful,” I mused, grabbing the tattoo gun like I had a license for this sort of thing.
Parker’s eyes widened. “Please tell me you mean acertified trainingvideo.”
“Eh,” I said, shrugging. “It had upbeat music and a guy named InkDaddy69 in the title. Close enough.”
Jace choked on his beer. “InkDaddywhat?”
“Focus,” I said, testing the pedal until the machine whirred to life. “You two are gonna help me.”
Parker blinked. “Help youwhat—bury your mistakes?”
“Help menotdo something insane,” I corrected, pointing the needle vaguely in their direction. “Because right now, thanks to you two and your nauseatingly happy relationships, I’ve been infected with whatever disease makes a man go completely feral over a girl. And if you don’t distract me, there’s a solid chance I’ll end up on Ophelia’s doorstep with a marriage proposal and a matching set of handcuffs.”
Jace grinned, leaning back like this was the best entertainment he’d had all week. “So the solution is…letting you stab us?”
“Temporary insanity requires extreme measures,” I said seriously, lining up the ink bottles like I was preparing forsurgery. “One tiny tattoo each. Team solidarity. Bleeding for a brother. Take your pick of inspirational slogans.”
Parker groaned, dragging a hand down his face. “You’re out of your damn mind.”
“Exactly,” I said. “Which is why we need to startimmediately.”
Jace looked from me to Parker, then down at the buzzing needle. “You know,” he said, grinning, “I’ve done dumber things for friendship.”
“That’s true.” I nodded as I tested the pedal. The motor buzzed to life with a whine that was equal parts thrilling and terrifying.
Parker held up both hands like I was wielding a chainsaw instead of a needle. “Shouldn’t you, I don’t know…practice on a banana first or something?”
I squinted at him. “How’s stabbing a piece of fruit gonna help me tattoo a human?”
He opened his mouth, then closed it again. “I don’t know. I just read that somewhere.” There was an edge of panic in my QB’s voice.
Before I could reply, Jace plopped down right in front of me, rolling up his sleeve with the kind of enthusiasm that only comes when you’re about to make a bad decision.
