His teammate Garrett’s voice cut through the hallway, casual, teasing, and familiar. And just like that, the air shifted.
The name slammed into me like a punch, dragging yesterday back in brutal clarity—his voice in that hallway, so cruel.Clingy, desperate, freak.Garrett standing next to him.
My stomach twisted. Whatever warmth had been in my chest turned to stone.
I forced a breath, straightened my shoulders, and stepped toward the sunlight spilling through the doors. The moment I pushed them open, the cold rushed in to meet me, biting at my cheeks and clawing down my throat. It stole my breath, but maybe that was better. Maybe the shock of it could freeze everything burning inside me.
“Hey!” His voice followed me out into the cold, carrying too easily across the quad. “Can’t wait to see you again, most beautiful girl in the world!”
My entire body locked. Heads turned. A few students laughed.
Mortification flooded through me, hot and stinging, and I ducked my head, hurrying faster. My pulse thudded in my ears as I turned the nearest corner, out of sight, out of reach, pressing my back against the brick wall like I needed something solid to hold me upright.
I squeezed my eyes shut, whispering the words over and over, a prayer and a punishment all at once. “I’m done. I’m done. I’m done.” I wanted to believe it. I wanted to feel the clean break of something ending. But it didn’t come.
Because I wasn’t done.
The pull was still there, wanting and aching, dragging me toward him no matter how much I fought it. My body felt hijacked, every muscle keyed up and desperate to move closer. Before I even realized what I was doing, I was leaning forward,peeking around the corner like my body had stopped taking orders from me.
He was easy to spot. Because of course he was.
Matty was walking beside Garrett and Jace, moving through the crowd like they owned it. Garrett was laughing at something Jace said, and Jace, animated and loud as ever, was talking with his hands, grinning like even he was amused by what he was saying.
My hands were still shaking so badly I had to clasp them together, and my nails were biting into my palms. I told myself to stop, to turn away, to keep walking. Instead, I followed. One step, then another. Slow. Careful. Shame rising higher with every breath.
The crowd of students thickened, swallowing the trio for a moment. But I still tracked him, searching for the dark sweep of his hair, the easy rhythm of his stride, the way his shoulder brushed Jace’s in that familiar way like they’d known each other their whole lives.
A girl appeared that I didn’t recognize from the ones who usually tried to get his attention. She was pretty, confident, her smile one that had probably worked a thousand times before. She reached for his arm, leaning in, saying something that made her lips curve wider. My stomach dropped so fast I thought I might be sick.
I braced myself for the grin I knew so well.
But it didn’t come.
His expression shifted, hardening, his reply short enough that she froze. The smile faltered on her face, and she slipped back into the current of students, disappearing with a few backward, longing glances.
Garrett and Jace both turned to look at him, the same puzzled expressions flickering across their faces. Garrett raised an eyebrow, and Jace’s grin faltered for half a second, like theywere both wondering what the hell that had been about. But Matty just kept walking, his jaw tight, his eyes fixed straight ahead.
My chest clenched. It wasn’t relief that filled me…relief would have been mercy. It was something worse. Because even if he could look at her like that, dismissive and distant, it didn’t matter. He would never look at me at all if he knew the truth. Even if this morning hadn’t been just a cruel joke, nothing would still make it mean something.
The ache hollowed me out, leaving behind a silence that hurt to touch.
I stopped walking. My body felt heavy, like the air itself didn’t want to let me move. I wrapped my arms around my middle, pressing hard, trying to keep from coming apart. Finally…I turned around.
Each step away felt like wading through wet sand—slow, impossible, suffocating. I could still hear Jace’s laugh cutting through the noise of the crowd, though, and I walked faster, willing it to fade.
Because I had made a promise. And even if I kept breaking it every time he breathed, I had to keep trying.
CHAPTER 8
MATTY
The desk felt too small for my frame, my knees pressing up against the underside like it had been designed for middle schoolers, not Division I athletes. My shoulders still ached from practice, the ghost of my pads lingering even after a shower and a night’s worth of sleep. I stared at my phone, scrolling through Instagram mindlessly, but the pictures blurred together, my brain still stuck somewhere between exhaustion and everything that had gone wrong yesterday.
A text from Jace popped up, and I tapped it open.
Jace: I just remembered that we completely forgot to mock you yesterday for sprinting off the field to find your stalker
Jace: Frankly, I’m disappointed with myself.
