He scoffed. “Please. I keep my baby spotless. For said sex, obviously.”
I stared at him. “You’re unbelievable. And I know way too much about your and Riley’s sex life.”
He grinned. “I’m actually aspirational. And after the last few days, I’m pretty sure I know more about your sex life than you do about mine. I want that coffee cup sanitized, by the way, multiple times. Because it’s my favorite one, and now you’ve ruined it.”
I didn’t have enough blood flow to blush as I thought about what I’d used his coffee cup for, but I also made yet another commitment to get better locks on my door.
He threw the Jeep into drive, the tires screeching as we pulled away. “I wonder how I would explain this to a cop?” he mused.
I shut my eyes. “Tell him we lost a bet.”
“Oh sure. ‘Sorry, Officer, my best friend almost drowned in the Tennessee River this morning. He’s fine, though, look—his dick’s still threatening traffic.’”
“Fucking hell.”
The heater kicked harder, blowing enough warmth that the shivering finally dulled into a tremor. I leaned my head back, watching streetlights flicker through the windshield.
Jace’s phone buzzed in the cup holder. He glanced down, then barked out a laugh. “It’s Parker.”
He held the screen up so I could see.
Parker: Did you find him? He’s not answering me, and I refuse to ask Darla for help with his tracker.
Parker: Which is still weird that we have by the way. We’ve never talked about just how often you use it.
A second later.
Parker: Also, why is there a “naked man on Neyland Drive” trending online? And why does it look like Matty in all the pictures?
“You’re famous,” Jace said delightedly. “I’ve always wanted to be friends with a star.”
“He’s all good,” Jace read aloud as he typed out an answer to Parker. “He’s alive. Mostly hypothermic. Probably sterile.”
“I’m not sterile,” I snarled. Although, honestly, I couldn’t be sure about that.I don’t even think Ophelia’s mouth could make my dick come alive again right now.
It twitched in response, and I surreptitiously covered it so I didn’t give Jace something else to mock me for.
“Parker would have probably had a sweatshirt in his truck,” I told him.
“I can drop you off and tell him to come get you?” Jace said helpfully. “Because you don’t sound very grateful right now. Your balls are literally sitting on my leather. I’m not sure Parker would have allowed that.”
I thought about that for a second. He could be right. “I’m sorry,” I finally huffed.
“Tell me I’m your bestilicious number one,” Jace prodded.
“You’re my—” I began.
Blue and red lights exploded in the mirrors, cutting off my words.
Jace’s grin died as he pulled the Jeep over to the side of the road. “Great. I rescue one naked best friend from a cult initiation, and now I’m going to end up on some registry.”
The flashlight hit the side window a minute later, slicing through the dark. I tried to hunch lower and cover my junk, but it just made me look guiltier and somehowmorenaked, I was pretty sure.
The officer rapped twice on the glass. Jace rolled it down, smiling like a man whose last three brain cells were performing CPR on one another.
“Evening, Officer,” he said brightly. “Beautiful night for a drive, huh?”
The cop’s gaze swung from Jace to me. His brows climbed higher with every inch of bare skin he clocked. “Son,” he said slowly, “why is there a naked man in your passenger seat?”
