“Oh, excruciating,” Dan says, all fake sincerity. “But Grace felt so bad. She insisted on looking after me. Sat with me the whole flight, brought me ice packs, dabbed at my—” He nods at his member.
I jab an elbow into his ribs before he can say something truly horrific. “It wasn’t that bad,” I grit out, my cheeks flaming.
Dan huffs a laugh but barrels on, undeterred. “Well, I wasn’t going to tell her this, but—” He leans in like he’s letting Andy in on some grand secret. “I might have exaggerated my pain a little. Just to keep her close.”
I blink. Is he trying to kill me? Right here? On my own lawn?
Andy chuckles. “Smooth. And she bought it?”
Dan grins. “Hook, line, and sinker. Ended up going out for drinks that night, didn’t we, little bird?”
I am going to strangle him with my bare hands.
Andy looks at me, amused. “Didn’t think you’d go for someone like him.”
“Oh, me neither,” I say through gritted teeth. “Total shock.”
“But she fell hard,” Dan adds, absolutely delighted with himself. “Didn’t stand a chance, did you, sweetheart?”
I side-eye him, my fake smile straining. “Mm. Hopeless.”
Andy laughs. “Okay, I’ll let you two lovebirds get back to it. Come on, Dexter.”
As soon as he’s out of earshot, I shove Dan’s arm off me and whirl to face him. “Boyfriend?” I hiss. “Are you actually deranged?”
Dan shrugs. “Seems easier than explaining the truth.”
“Right. Because the truth is that you’re an arsehole, trespassing in my garden.”
“You really need to work on your fake dating skills, little bird.”
I gape at him. “We are not fake dating. You just lied about everything.”
Dan shrugs. “Wasn’t everything. We did meet on a flight.”
I press my fingers to my temples, inhaling deeply. Stay calm. Murder is illegal. Even when it’s justified.
Dan lifts the neck of my baggy t-shirt and covers my bra strap.
Unfortunately, my body betrays me with a sharp, unwanted jolt of awareness. I bat his hand away, trying to shake it off.
“Right.” I clear my throat. “You’ve had your fun. Now, shoo.” I flap my hands at him as if I’m warding off a particularly infuriating seagull.
Dan just grins, completely unrepentant. “Not a chance, little bird. I think I quite like being your boyfriend.”
“Fake boyfriend.”
“There you go. You’re getting into it.”
I stomp my foot down, this time hitting the soil. “You can’t be here right now, Dan.”
His brows knit together. “Why not?”
“Because I’m expecting company.”
“Who?”
“Mind your own flippin’ business.” I press both my hands onto his chest in an attempt to push him away, but he grabs a hold of my hands and holds them against him. His heart beats under my palm and I’m taken back to the night we made love in my bedroom.
