Ice prickles my cheeks like needles. I spit it back out as I lie on my back and she hovers over me, the sun shining on her brunette and golden hair like the angel that she is. I silence the devil on my shoulder while I take in her beauty. The sun casting a halo around her head makes her look like a saint and I’m the sinner.
“You look like Santa Claus.” She giggles again, the sound like music to my ears.
“Want to sit on my knee and tell me what you want for Christmas?” I chuckle to myself, my belly shaking, but she swings her leg over me. My heart stutters in my chest.
She straddles me, her palms flat against my stomach. “Okay, Santa, this Christmas I want…” She taps her lip with her index finger. “A new job and a boyfriend.”
“I’ll see what I can do, angel.” It takes all my strength to keep my hands at my side. If I let them wander onto her legs, I don’t know if I’d be able to stop them from climbing up her thigh.
She bounces against my groin and giggles, the sensation making my dick twitch.
Scooping up more snow, I throw it at her chest, making sure I don’t hit her face, but I need to get her off of me. When she freezes and sucks in a breath, I know she’s felt my growing dick between her thighs.
I grab hold of her ass and lift her, rolling her onto her back. I hover at the side, my face inches from hers. It would be so easy to lean down and steal a kiss. If she were anyone else, I wouldn’t hesitate.
The way she parts her mouth and licks her lips tells me she feels this too. Whatever this is between us. Is it just two lonely people desperate for a human connection? That must be it. There’s no way this angel sees anything in me. I’m over twenty years older than her. Old enough to be her dad. I’m a sick fuck, that’s what I am.
“If you want Santa to bring you a gift this year, you have to promise to be a good girl.”
Her blue eyes gaze up at me. “I’ll be good, Santa.”
I push myself away from her and drop onto my back with a groan, needing some distance between us, and will the thoughts from my head. Taking care of myself is a struggle, let alone another human being. I’ve nothing to offer her. Not even a home.
But somehow, she makes me want to do better. Put down roots and build a stable life just so I can take care of her. Flakes of snow hit my face as I stare up at the sky, the sun peeking through a gap in the grey blanket, like a ray of hope for my miserable life.
“Let’s make snow angels.” She moves her arms and legs out and in again, making a shape on the ground.
I do the same, our arms and legs touching.
“I used to do this with Mum.” She sticks her tongue out, licking the flakes from her lip. “When we would stay at the cabin, we’d come out here and build snowmen. She’d bring a flask, and we’d have hot chocolate in the treehouse.”
“Is the treehouse still going strong?” More flakes stick to my beard.
“I haven’t been in it for a couple of years, but you and dad built it to last. It’ll still be there when I have children.”
“Do you want kids?”
“Of course I do. Don’t you?”
“Dunno really. I’ve never been with a woman long enough to think about settling down with them.” I dust the snow from my beard. It’s getting a bit late for me to be thinking about a family. Most women I date come with a ready-made one, mainly moody teenagers who hate my guts.
“Is that why you’ve never married?” She lifts onto her elbow, her rainbow scarf covered in snow.
“I’ve seen too many marriages end in divorce to buy into the fairy tale.” I need to make a home for myself first before I can even think about settling down with someone when I have nothing to offer.
“So you don’t believe in marriage?” Her blue eyes are full of questions.
I stifle a laugh. “I can’t even commit to a gym membership, let along a marriage contract.” Most of my life, I’ve been a flitter, just crashing with whoever the flavour of the month is. I’ve never had a place to call home, never even wanted one before.
But I’d do it for my angel.
7
ANGELICA
“Itold you it was too big.” I giggle at the enormous tree Sawyer cut down, which only just fits in the cabin.
“What’s that phrase?” Sawyer stands at the top of the ladder, tangled in Christmas lights. “Go big or go home?”
