I can handle myself, but I let him have this. If this is what he needs to get all his anger out, I’d sooner him take it out on me than her.
“Dad, please. I can explain.” She tugs on his arm as if trying to get him off me.
Colin snarls. “Explain to me why your boyfriend here lied about where you were. I called this morning, worried sick about you since his phone call last night sounded off. But judging by the snow on your car, you’ve been here for days.”
“I wanted to tell you, Dad.” Angelica sniffles.
Lorraine tentatively places a hand on Colin’s shoulder. “Why don’t I put the kettle on and we can all talk about it?”
Colin shrugs her off. “I don’t want a fucking tea.” He drags me from the wall and throws another punch, but I duck this time. His fist cracks the wood panelling on the wall and he curses, spinning around and landing a punch to my chest.
I’m knocked back into a cabinet, my chest burning with adrenaline and the pain of his blow.
“Dad, don’t hurt him.” Her cries are like a puncture in my heart.
Colin can hurt me all he wants, but I can’t bear to hear my angel cry.
He fists my shirt again, pushing me farther into the wooden sideboard. Photo frames clatter against the surface and fall to the floor; glass smashes around my feet.
Lorraine calls out, “Colin, please.”
He lets go of my shirt and steps back, pointing his finger at me. “Get the fuck out of my cabin.”
“Dad, it’s Christmas Eve.” Angelica turns back to me, her face pale, her eyes wide like a glass bauble.
“I don’t give a fuck what day it is.” He narrows his eyes at me. “I let you live here rent-free and you betray me.” He shakes his head as if in disbelief. “With my own fucking daughter.”
“Dad, I love him.” She stands in front of me, her body tense as I place my hands on either side of her shoulders.
“And you think he loves you?” Colin huffs out a laugh. “You let him touch you—” His face twists as he says the words. “And he can’t even have the decency to use protection.”
Everything he says is true and it stings like a knife twisting in my gut, but despite my flaws, I fucking love this girl and I can’t stay silent about it. “You know how I feel about her. I love her more than anything in the world.”
“You don’t know the meaning of the word. You’ve never stayed with anyone long enough. And I’ll be damned if I’m gonna stand by and let you ruin my daughter’s life.” He waves a hand in the air as if he can shoo me out like a bad smell. “She has a career in London. She’s not staying here shacked up with you. Now get the fuck out, or do I need to throw you out?”
“I’ll pack my bag.” I turn to Angelica. “It’ll be all right.”
She follows me to the bottom of the stairs. “If you’re leaving, I’m coming with you.”
“No. I won’t come between you and your dad. Stay and talk to him.” I trudge up the stairs with heavy steps, knowing I can’t take her away from him.
He’s angry right now, but he’ll come around. He has to. It might not be tonight or tomorrow or next year, but I’ll wait as long as it takes.
20
ANGELICA
“You’re not going anywhere,” Dad hollers after me as I chase Sawyer up the stairs. “I haven’t driven all this way for you to leave, Angelica.”
Tears sting my eyes, making it difficult to see.
Sawyer pulls a holdall from under the bed and shoves random things in from around the room. “You need to talk to your dad, tell him the truth. Tell him what you told me.”
“No. I’m coming with you.” I wipe my tears, trying to put on a brave face for Sawyer and my dad, but my body vibrates with adrenaline.
“Hey, look at me.” Sawyer takes my face between his palms, grounding me in the present. “Deep breaths.” His thumb swipes under my eyes, wiping away more tears. “This doesn’t change how I feel about you.” He presses his lips to my forehead. “But I won’t take you away from your dad. Right now, he’s feeling betrayed by the both of us. Only you can stay and talk to him. Can you do that for me?”
I nod and try to swallow the prickling lump at the back of my throat, like a pine cone lodged there, making it difficult to breathe. My hand fists his checked shirt and I rest my foreheadagainst his chest, soaking up the scent of the man I love, not knowing when I’ll see him again.
