“Two naked bodies together keep you warm.” His lips press against my forehead. “We should make a move.”
“I’m scared, Sawyer.” I cling to him, not wanting this bubble to burst.
“Baby girl, I’m so fucking sorry. I’ll never hurt you like that again. You don’t need to fear me.” He peppers my hairline with kisses as I bury my face into his chest.
“Sawyer, I’m not scared of you.” I let out a sigh, my breath warm between us. “I’m scared that once we’re back at the cabin, things will go back to how they were.”
He lifts my chin to gaze into my eyes. “Things can never go back to how they were.”
That reassures me. I don’t want to go back to being ignored.
“I need to get you home, get you showered and warm. Then we can talk about what to do going forward. Okay?”
I bob my head, his finger and thumb still on my chin, holding my face in place as he brings his lips to mine. It’s soft, gentle, and warm, with all the comfort of a teddy bear.
It’slike the calm after the storm. The white blanket covers the ground like a clean cotton sheet on a freshly made bed. The sun shines down on my face and everything just seems brighter than before. My body light, as if I’m walking on clouds and not trudging through the snow like I was yesterday, each step heavy with the weight of all my heartache and the V-card that was hanging from my shoulders like a sandwich board that said loser with a capital L.
I’d never thought much about my virginity. Never cared until I thought Sawyer saw me differently, as though I were this inexperienced girl who wasn’t worth his time. But I realise now that wasn’t the case. He didn’t feel like he was good enough for me to give it to him.
I guess we both need to work on our self-esteem.
The heat in the cabin is already on, thanks to the timer. I kick off my boots in the hall and shrug off my coat. Sawyer does the same. Then, without words, he takes my hand and leads me up the stairs and into the bathroom.
He turns on the shower. Steam fills the air as he undresses me and then strips himself, snapping off his shirt.
As I step under the spray of the water, it hits my skin like pins and needles, my body adjusting to the heat. I lift my face under the showerhead and close my eyes, letting the water wash away all my previous insecurities.
Sawyer steps into the shower behind me, his naked body pressing against my back as his arms slip around my waist. He moves my wet hair back with the gentlest of touches and kisses my neck. “I’m so fucking sorry I bruised you, angel.”
I lift my hand to my neck, the memory of his palm squeezing my throat making my centre flutter. “I’m not.” My body turns to face him and I rise onto my tiptoes to kiss his lips.
“You should be. Last night I lost all control. I was so incensed I couldn’t think straight.” His large palms cup my face as he gazes into my eyes, water running down his cheeks like tears. “When I couldn’t find you, I ran out onto the pier, searching the lake for you. Thoughts that something had happened to you spun in my head, making me fucking crazy.” His lips press against my forehead as he holds me against him under the water. “I thought I’d lost you.”
“I’m sorry. I was angry with you for ignoring me.” My face nuzzles into his chest. “I thought you saw me as a child because I was still a virgin. I wanted to make you jealous and to see me as a woman.” My voice cracks, all the emotions of yesterday resurfacing. “That’s why I wore Mum’s dress.”
He reaches for the shower gel on the wall and pumps two squirts into his hands. “From the moment I caught you in the shower, there’s been no doubt in my mind that you’re all woman, angel.” His palms glide over my skin, sliding down my breasts, his thumb circling my nipple. “You’re fucking beautiful.”
I hum out a sigh as he flicks his thumb over my sensitive peaks, still sore from his teeth and the assault of his tongue.
His hand lathers soap over my stomach, squeezing my belly with both hands. A satisfied hum tumbles from his lips as he rubs his calloused hands over my soft flesh, slipping down between my thighs.
I gasp at the contact on my swollen, sensitive parts. Both pleasure and pain with the tender muscles there.
“Does it hurt a lot?” His brow knits with concern, guilt etched on his face.
“No.” I widen my stance, wanting him to play with me, touch me, fuck me.
His finger slips between my folds, lathering the soap around, sliding back and forth.
“Sawyer,” I hum, my head lolling back as I enjoy his hands caressing my aching centre. A total contrast to how he was last night. I love both sides to him, honoured that I got to experience this other part of him. The teddy bear of a man and the grizzly bear of the beast.
“Turn around.” He pumps more soap into his hands and works my shoulders, giving me a massage. His large palms glide down my back, over every bump and crease, as if he’s tracing the lines, taking his time as he washes me with his bare hands.
With the spray of water on my face again, I close my eyes, enjoying the warmth and closeness with him, my entire body vibrating with tingles as his fingertips tickle my skin.
Reaching my bottom, he cups both cheeks and squeezes, kneading and massaging my behind. With anyone else, I’d be embarrassed by a man focusing so intently on my large backside, but the way Sawyer moans in pleasure tells me he likes what he sees.
“You have a beautiful arse, angel.” He kisses my neck as his fingers tease between the valley of my cheeks, sliding from top to bottom and finding my sensitive knot.
