“No.” My voice cracks. “Turns out I can’t even give it away. Nobody wanted me.” I turn my face away from his and trudge through the snow. If I weren’t so cold, I’m sure a tear would fall. My chest stings with the prickle of a thousand pins all hitting me at once. Emotions clog in my throat with the same ball of pins as I stifle a sob.
It was him I wanted, and he rejected me. I thought if I came here tonight, I could at least get a kiss from someone and make him jealous, but the way he looked at me just now was with such disappointment.
It’s the same look I got from my landlord when I told him I couldn’t pay the rent. It’s the same look I imagine I’ll get from my father when he learns of my lie about work, and no doubt the same look my mother has as she’s watching over me. I really hope she’s not watching over me.
Sawyer catches up to me and places a hand on my shoulder.
I shrug it off and continue to trudge through the snow with my head down to shield my face from the gaining wind and heavy snow.
“Hey,” he says, grabbing hold of my arm again.
“Leave me alone, Sawyer. You don’t have to act like you care just because you’re my dad’s friend.” I turn to face him, the wind whipping my hair around my face. “I get it. You’re not attracted to me. You see me as a kid. And maybe I am and maybe I will be a virgin until I’m forty, but at least I’m willing to open my heart to someone and commit. You’ll always be alone because you’re too afraid to let anyone in.”
He scratches his beard, staring at me with his dark penetrative eyes that see into my soul. “Are you done?”
I lift my chin, proud that I stood up to him, and hope I have the same courage when I have to face my father and tell him about my job. “Yes, I think so.”
The wind howls through the trees and the snow swirls all around us as if we’re in the middle of a snow machine on a disaster movie set, only this isn’t a movie.
Sawyer shields his eyes and points to the clearing in the woods that runs alongside the lane. “Let’s get to the treehouse,” he shouts over the gaining wind.
With his hand on the small of my back, he guides me into the woods. It’s hard to tell where exactly we are with the snow, but Sawyer takes my hand in his and weaves us through the overgrown foliage.
Under the canopy of trees the wind calms, but Sawyer doesn’t let go of me, clinging on to me as if fearing he’ll lose me if he lets go.
We reach the treehouse ladder and he says, “Get in.” It’s not a request, but an order, and I’ve had about as much of him bossing me around as I can take.
“You can’t keep treating me like I’m a kid! I’m not some fragile little girl who needs her hand held.”
“Maybe if you’d stop acting like a little brat, I wouldn’t have to.” He breathes heavily, inches from my face, heat rolling off him despite the blizzard.
I take the first few treads on the ladder. “You don’t know the first thing about what I’m capable of!”
He steps on the rung behind me, his body pressed against my back, urging me farther into the treehouse. “I know exactly what you’re capable of. You’re going to be the ruin of me. Why the hell do you think I’ve tried to stay away?”
Reaching the hatch, I open it and climb into the wooden room, out of the wind and snow, then crawl along the picnic rug still laid out from the other day.
Sawyer closes the hatch behind us, then finds the battery-operated lantern and sets the gas heater going.
My teeth chatter as I grab a blanket from the box and wrap it around me. “You just see me as the same little girl you used to babysit.” I clench my fists at my side. My voice trembles in the cold, but I refuse to go back to the meek girl I was before.
“The little girl I used to babysit wasn’t a little brat.” He bares his teeth in the dimly lit room, both of us catching our breath, the irritation in the air blending with something else neither of us wants to acknowledge.
I’m on my knees on the picnic rug, looking up at a growly bear towering above me. “You’re scared, aren’t you? Scared that if you see me as a woman, you might just develop feelings for me.”
“You want me to treat you like a woman?” He steps closer to my face, his fingers unbuckling his belt.
I gulp. A shiver wracks my bones, but suddenly I’m no longer cold. The fire in his eyes is hot enough to warm the entire estate.
He drags the zipper down his jeans; the sound vibrating in my centre. His length springs free and he fists it right in front of my face. The slit glistens under the glow from the gas fire, and I wet my lips in anticipation. I’ve never been this close to a man’s erection before.
“Suck it.” He narrows his eyes as if it’s a challenge. He’s calling my bluff. Does he think I’ll recoil?
Keeping my eyes locked with his, I open my mouth as wide as I can and wrap it around the head of his shaft.
His eyelids flutter closed as a deep, guttural groan rumbles from his lips. With his other hand, he runs his fingers through my hair, wet from the melted snow, and makes a fist, tugging on my scalp and holding my head in place. “Is your mouth innocent, the same as your virgin pussy?” he growls.
Unable to speak with him stuffing me like this and holding me in place, I hum a yes as best I can.
