I pull the spliff from my pocket and twist it in my fingers. It’s been so long since I smoked, I don’t even own a lighter.
A light turns on in the pool house. She draws her curtains in the bedroom and I stomp up the stairs to my room, yanking the tie from under my collar.
Opening the door to my dressing room, I slide open the drawer for my ties and stuff this one inside, then slam the drawer shut. The unit shudders, causing a box of cufflinks to the fall to the floor.
I inhale a deep breath and count to ten. There’s no point in me taking my frustration out on my closet, I only have myself to blame. I could kick myself for my big mouth. All I had to do was agree with her and admit defeat. But she needs to know I never wanted a divorce.
There’s a twinge in my lower back as I reach down for the box of cufflinks. Holding my back, I open the drawer where I keep my jewellery and catch sight of the Tiffany green box at the back. The twinge in my back is now in my heart as memories flash through my head like a movie reel.
“If you leave and get on that plane today, don’t bother coming back,” Merry said, with tears pooling in her eyes.
It was one of many arguments we had about my work, but I always came back to the UK and she always forgave me. I guess walking out on her on election day was the final straw. A week later, her ring arrived in a recorded delivery package along with divorce papers.
I should have fought for her. Got on the next flight home and fought for her.
So many years have been wasted.
Chapter Five
MERRY
Ihad to walk out before I said something I regret. But now, lying here alone, it’s like I can’t sleep until I’ve had the last word. The man infuriates me. Yet I know it’s because I still care so much. If I didn’t, I wouldn’t be bothered.
He’s under my skin, like a parasite making me itch.
I roll over in the humongous bed, facing the window. A sliver of light shines through a gap in the curtain from across the way. Throwing the covers back, I pad over to the French doors, open the curtain, and suck in a breath at the sight of Alex sitting on a lounger, swirling a glass of eggnog in one hand and holding a doobie in the other.
Lifting my dressing gown from the hook on the back of the door, I wrap it around my body, hiding an old festival t-shirt I’m wearing, then slink out of the bedroom to the poolside.
Tiptoeing over the cold tiles in my bare feet, I reach the lounger next to Alex and sit sideways, facing him. “Is your back playing up again?”
His lips quirk. “It’s the pain in my neck causing me problems tonight.” He offers me a drink of his eggnog and I take it, bringing the tumbler to my mouth and taking a big gulp.
The liquid is smooth on my tongue, like velvet. I lean back on the lounger, making myself comfortable, lifting my legs onto it.
Alex reaches a hand under my lounger, then pulls it close to his, scraping the legs along the patio.
I squeal at the sudden jolt, spilling a few drops of eggnog onto my dressing gown.
Alex holds the joint between his lips while he reaches to the side of him and retrieves the bottle. “Top up?” He unscrews the cap and fills the glass.
I take another gulp and then hand it back to him before lifting the doobie from his lips and bringing it to mine. The piney aroma fills the space between us and I inhale, needing something to relax me in my ex-husband’s presence.
The gentle lapping of the ocean in the distance and the crickets are a welcome backing track, breaking the silence between us. We’ve known each other long enough to sit in silence, and I know when he’s licking his wounds. I’m sure the pain in his neck meant me.
My lips curl in the corner. For years, I wished we weren’t tied together with an unbreakable bond. Having a child with someone means they’re in your life forever, whether you like it or not. It’s difficult to move on with a constant reminder of the past. And just as our son is marrying and starting his own life, there’s a potential grandbaby thrown into the mix. Another thing to tie us together.
No matter what I do, there’s no escaping him. But I realise tonight that I don’t want to.
He reaches over and takes the joint from my fingers. “I think you’ve had enough of this.”
“I’m just getting started.” A giggle bursts from my lips, the effects taking hold. I lean over onto his lounger, reaching for it, but he moves his arm, holding it farther away.
Before I know it, I’m climbing onto his lounger, full of giggles, my face inches from his as I reach for the smoke.
I gasp as he grabs hold of my waist and pulls me down onto his lap.
A growl rumbles from deep in his chest. “Be a good girl now.” His eyes darken as he brings the joint to my lips.
