LILLY
My head bobs along to the Deadbeat Punks. Even though it’s not my favourite style of music, they’re not bad. I follow Hazel to the back room for a game of pool. All the while, I’m on the lookout for any sign of Shane or his friends.
I’m desperate to see him. I need to know he still feels the same. Insecurity swells in my chest like a rising tide. I thought we had a connection. After everything he told me, right now he’s no better than the rest of them. Kane was emotionally unavailable and Shane’s just unavailable full stop. I thought me telling him on the live that I couldn’t carry on like that would spur him on to step up and be the man I deserve.
Hazel hands me a pool cue. “You all right?”
I fake smile and nod my head as she sets the balls up on the table. It’s me that has everything to lose. It’s me that’s going to lose a sister and brother. But I have my own family to think about now. My hand rests over my stomach. I should do a test to confirm it, but it seems pointless. I don’t need to be a nurse to know the symptoms of pregnancy. Besides the sickly feeling and the metal taste in my mouth, not to mention the fatigue, I just know.
The right thing to do would be to tell Shane I’m pregnant. Maybe then he’d acknowledge it was him all along, knowing he’s the father. But I won’t be that girl that traps him into a relationship.
I did some research and there’s a 0.1% chance of conceiving with a vasectomy, unless it was a recent procedure. But first, before I confront him about any of this, I need to know he wants me for me and not just because it’s his duty to take care of his mess.
“Hello.” Hazel waves her pool cue at me. “Earth to Lil.”
“Oh.” I bend over the table and take my shot, missing the coloured ball.
“I heard there was a break in last night. A load of drinks stolen from the cellar.” She pots a striped ball and cocks her lips into a smile as she lines up for another.
“Draven must be pissed.”
She pots another ball. “Heard anything from your mystery man?”
I shake my head. “I think he’s lost interest. He won’t even reply to my texts.” I sag against the wall. Not even getting myself off in the bath and giving him the finger afterwards got a rise out of him. I was sure that would get him riled up, seeing as the last time I did that, he showed up to spank me.
“Maybe he’s back on tour or lost his phone?” She shrugs a shoulder. “There has to be a reason he’s not messaged you. What if he got sepsis from the gash?”
“I checked the records at the hospital. Nobody has been admitted with a gash to their stomach.” I huff out air through my nostrils. “I’ll slice him up myself if he doesn’t get back in touch with me soon.”
“I’ll even do it for you. He may have given you the best sex of your life, but it’s not worth the anguish he’s put you through these last few weeks. Is he even gonna pay you?”
“I got another thousand put in my bank yesterday. Which is just insulting. I don’t want his money. It’s gone past that now.” I bend down, line up the ball and hit it with my cue, channelling all my anger into it. The white ball hits the coloured one and flies off the edge of the table, landing on the floor and rolling to a pair of black boots.
My eyes wander up black trousers and a yellow high vis jacket over a police vest. I gulp, frozen to the spot as Shane bends his knees and reaches for the ball.
He hands it back to me, hypnotising me with his dark gaze.
As I take the ball, a spark of electricity zaps my fingertip, causing me to suck in a breath. With my heart thumping beneath my ribs, I gasp for air, but croak out, “Thanks.”
“You still at your sisters?”
I shake my head. “I moved back in today. Thanks for sorting out my door. Kane dropped the keys off.”
“You shouldn’t be alone.”
“Well, I had to go home sometime. There’s only so many nights I can sleep with my sister and her snoring.”
He chuckles. “Yeah, I remember.”
“What are you doing here?”
“I’m on duty. Just come to chat with Draven about a break in last night.”
“Okay.” I spin around, giving him my best strut in my heels and black faux leather leggings, then bend over the pool table, making sure my ass is in his eyeline.
A shiver courses through me as I sense his eyes burning a hole through my bottoms. There isn’t even a ball to hit from this angle, but I just wanted to show him what he’s missing. I hit the white ball and let it bounce off the cushion, letting out a breath when it not only hits a ball on the way back, but pots it.
“Way to go, that was such a cool move,” Hazel says.
