I’m guessing you know what the red lily symbolises… or do I need to show you?
With a smile plastered on my face, I text his number.
Thank you for the flowers.
I’ve missed you.
Same. Want to do a live tonight? Or even better, come and see me.
I’m busy, but I can call tomorrow. I’ve missed seeing your face.
29
LILLY
My arms wrap tightly around a pillow as if it’s a person. Desperate for a human connection, I wish my shadow was here with me to hold me and give me the contact I crave, but even if he was here, it would be fleeting.
My phone comes alive in the ring light holder. “Hey, beautiful.” His head dips closer to the screen. “Everything okay?” The mask a constant reminder that he’s just another unattainable man and relationship doomed to fail before it even began.
I hold back the tears. “I lost a patient today.”
An exhale comes through the speaker. “Sweetheart.” His gloved hand slides over his balaclava.
“It’s part of the job isn’t it. I gave her CPR and brought her back to life. Her family came and?—”
“Baby.” His voice cracks.
“She passed away again two hours later.” I swallow a sob, my lungs heavy. It’s times like this, I want to come home to someone. A parent, a sibling, a lover, or a friend. Anyone who I can talk to about my day and have them hold me and take some of the weight from my chest.
“I’m sorry you had to go through that.”
“I broke her breast bone. It was all for nothing.” My head drops into the pillow I’m clutching. I close my eyes and sniffle against the soft cushion.
“You’re wrong. It wasn’t all for nothing.”
I lift my head, my brow wrinkling.
“If you hadn’t brought her back to life, she wouldn’t have had that time with her family.” His voice wobbles as if he knows the pain I’m feeling. “That time you gave them to say goodbye will mean everything to her family. Trust me.”
My eyes swell, but now my unshed tears aren’t for Mrs Riley, they’re for him and his loss. The pain in his voice is palpable. “I’m glad you got to say goodbye to your loved one.”
He falls back in his chair on an exhale as if someone punched all the air from his lungs. “That’s just it, nightingale. I didn’t get to say goodbye. My father passed away while I was on tour. Our last words were spoken in anger. I never got to tell him how much he meant to me or thank him for everything he did.”
I dab my eye with the corner of the pillow.
“So I know more than anyone exactly what you did for that family today.”
I nod my head in agreement, the weight in my lungs lifting as I let out a sigh. “How’s your wound?”
My shadow lifts his top with a gloved hand, revealing my poor steri-strip patch up job. “Healing okay.”
I move closer to the screen on my mobile to get a better look “It’s gonna leave an awful scar. You should have gone to A&E and had it dealt with properly. “
“I’ll wear it like a badge, knowing it’s your hands that healed me.”
I let out a small huff. “That’s a bit of a stretch.”
“You’re a good nurse. You have a way of making people feel better just by being around you. The way you talk to people, carefor them and touch their hearts.” He clears his throat. “Your smile calms my mind, your voice soothes my soul, and your hands relax all the tension in my body.”
