“Soooo.” She leans over the table and whispers, “Is he here?”
Hairs prickle on the back of my neck. He could be here for all I know. But if it’s who I think it is, he’s working now. A seed of doubt creeps in, wondering if this is wishful thinking on my part. I want it to be Shane so badly. But another part of me hopes it isn’t Shane. I want it to be another man, one I can have a relationship with. Though waking up alone this morning reminded me of all the times I would wake up alone in Kane’s bed.
I made a promise I wouldn’t put myself through that again, yet here we are. Another man I’ve fallen for with commitment issues. Worse. This one has identity issues as well. It’s just my luck.
“I wouldn’t know. I don’t know what he looks like.” I slump back in my seat and sip my rum and coke through a straw, waiting for my sister to give me a lecture. As if she has to lecture me on the risks involved with one-night stands. It’s not my style. The STD’s alone are enough to deter me.
And on cue, Fern’s eyes widen. “How can you hook up with someone and not know what they look like?”
“I met him on an app, and we’ve been chatting for a while now. He wears a mask.” I don’t need to tell her the app is my camgirl adult only app that I make extra money from on the side.
“You’ve been having sex with a man in a mask who you have no clue who he is or what he looks like?” she whisper yells over the table.
“For goodness’ sake. Keep your voice down.”
“Are you crazy?”
“Probably.” I slink further into my seat, sipping my drink. I am crazy for letting him come inside me without a condom. That was a stupid move, but somehow I trust him with my life. I wanted his cum inside me. I wanted him inside me with no barrier between us. And I can’t wait to do it all again.
“Anyway, enough about my sex life. How was your date? You haven’t told me much about this guy you’re seeing.”
Fern’s scowl turns to a bright smile. “It’s going well. His name’s Ant, and he’s a doctor. You might know him, actually.”
I sip my drink as she talks, not really hearing what she’s saying as I think about my shadow. Remembering a previous conversation where he said he’d had a vasectomy. At least I won’t get pregnant. That’s one good thing, I guess. “Did you and Shane ever try for a baby?”
She stops talking about her date, not that I was listening, and furrows her brow. “Yes, why? Has he said something?”
I shuffle in my seat and lean over the table. “No, I just wondered why he’s never settled down or had a family of his own. He didn’t have a vasectomy then?”
“No. We tried for about two years and nothing happened.”
“Is that why you left him?” I chew on my bottom lip. He was a broken man when he came out of the army, and even more broken when Fern upped and left. I never really understoodwhat happened between them. I was nineteen at the time and had my own life to live, but I haven’t forgotten how sad I was that he wasn’t going to be around much after that. Turns out I was wrong. He was still there for me when I needed him, even though he wasn’t with Fern.
“Of course not. Things just fizzled out. But I did wonder if he was firing blanks. We were gonna get tests done, but I took it as a sign and realised that it wasn’t meant to be.” She leans back in the booth and waves a hand in the air. “We’d grown apart.”
“So he never got things checked out?”
“Not as far as I know. Why, do you have some juicy gossip? Does he have a love child or something?”
I spit my drink out as a burst of laughter leaves my lips. “No. I’ve never even known him to have a woman, not even a one-night stand. I just thought it was odd.”
“Shane is odd. I don’t know what happened on tour, but he wasn’t the same when he came back.”
“How so?”
“He wasn’t the same person I fell in love with. He was distant. The sparkle in his eyes was gone. He used to be carefree and fun, and when he came back, he was just this straight laced cop that had to do everything by the book.”
“Well, obviously, or he’d get the sack.” I fold my arms over my chest. “He only took that job for you because you wanted him home with you. Or have you forgotten?”
She swallows the last of her tea. “I know he left the army for me. And I still feel bad about him giving up his dream. But I tried to make things work. We were just very young when we got together. We should never have married so young.”
As I glance up, my mouth parts. Through the bar in the other room is Shane in full uniform, talking to Draven, the owner. Our eyes meet, and I can practically hear the electricity crackling in the air.
He nods at something Draven says, then meets my gaze again, before walking away.
“What’s going on? You look like you’ve seen a ghost,” Fern says as she scans the area.
“Apparently, this place is haunted.” I sit up and take a big gulp of my drink, needing something to calm my nerves. The memory of my masked man still lingers as the seam of my jeans presses against that delicious spot.
