I mindlessly rush to the door that leads up the stairs to the restroom. Bursting into the ladies, I lean over the sink with panting breaths. The smokey scent of weed lingers in the air and I inhale the familiar scent from the farmhouse. I never nagged Kane to stop smoking. I know for him it’s more medicinal to help calm his mind.
Violet and Yaz stumble out of a cubicle with the giggles and a joint in their hand. I should tell them off for smoking in here, but I’ve more important things to think about right now.
“Kane was looking for you.”
“Shit.” She stubs the joint out in the sink and washes her hands before exiting the door with a slight wobble. She reminds me of myself at her age. I went wild after my father passed. I was angry with the world and did a lot of stupid things, but I had my family and Shane to lean on; this girl has nobody but Kane. I’m glad he’s there for her, even if I was a little jealous at first.
Taking in a deep breath, I stare at my reflection in the old mirror on the wall, distorted by flecks of rust on the outer edge. Now I’m alone, I lift my top, and pull the cup of my bra down, exposing my breast. His bite mark’s faded, but there’s a faint ring where his teeth sunk into the skin.
My centre pulses, hoping it could be Shane. A section missing where a tooth should be. With my beating heart, I rush into acubicle and pull down my faux leather leggings to find the bites on my inner thigh.
Sitting on the loo, I take the chunky flesh into my hands, suck my stomach in to get a good look there. The same pattern marks my skin. I shake my head, telling myself it’s all in my head. Shane’s a gentleman. A hero even. A freaking cop. He’s one of the good guys always doing the right thing. There’s no way he’d hide his identity and take what he wants from me like this. He just doesn’t seem the type.
23
SHANE
Lilly’s eyes widen as she opens her front door and takes in my old army jacket and combat trousers. “What’s going on?”
A smile spreads across my face as I hold up a white shirt and a blue and grey striped tie, similar to her old school uniform. “I have an idea. Do you have a black skirt?”
Her brow furrows. “I didn’t know you were into role play.”
I chuckle. “We can work up to that, but for now, I wanted to take you to see your mum. I thought she might recognise you in a school uniform.”
“Oh. I’m not sure I’ll fit in your shirt.” She takes the items from my hand and steps aside, gesturing for me to come in from the chilled wind.
“Yeah, you might want to skip the push-up bra. I don’t recall you having those when you were at school.”
She glances down at her chest. “I’m sure there’s no way of hiding these.”
All I can think about is how they bounced when she got herself off, and I will my dick to stay down. Today is about doing something nice for Lilly, not for my own selfish pleasure.
“Come in while I change.” She takes the shirt and tie from me and climbs the stairs, leaving me at the bottom.
“How’s that bed holding out?” A smile curves my lips. Dammit. I can’t help myself. I’m going to hell for the things I’ve done, but I’m only getting started. There’s so much more that I plan to do with Lilly.
“You did a good job. It’s real sturdy,” she shouts from her bedroom.
“I haven’t asked Kane about carving the ornate leg yet to match the others, but I will.”
She comes to the top of the stairs wearing a sports bra and a black skirt. “Please don’t say anything to Kane. I’m totally fine with it as it is. I don’t want to trouble him.”
I nod. It’s all I can do as I take in the ripe nipples underneath the white cotton sports bra and the soft, exposed flesh between her top and skirt. With each new day, the need to have her overwhelms me. I’m like an addict, desperate for the next fix. Only my poison is her. I hate myself for it, but I can’t stop it. Not now.
Within a few minutes, she’s dressed in what resembles her old school uniform, my shirt bursting at the seams around her chest. But it will do.
She walks down the stairs, braiding her hair. “What do you think?”
Staring at her takes me back about twelve years to the girl she used to be. “You look like you’re fifteen again.” A chuckle leaves my lips as I remember always chiding her about the length of her skirt. “Good to see your skirt isn’t rolled up this time.”
Her eyes flick to the ceiling. “I swear you wanted me to go to that school looking like a nun.” She braids the other side of her hair so she has two plaits hanging down her shirt. I’m sure some of her subscribers would get off on her looking this way,but it’s not my style. All I see is the innocent fifteen-year-old that I wanted to protect.
Bile rises in my throat at all the things I’ve done without her consent. She may have consented to the shadow, but had she known it’s me behind the mask, I don’t think she would’ve gone as far as she had. I’ve crossed a line and there’s no going back for me now. She thinks I’m her hero, but I’m the villain in her story.
“Ready?” I pull the car keys from my pocket, pushing all thoughts aside of what we’ve done. Today is about her and her mum.
In the car, Lilly adds a little gloss to her lips, swapping her usual red lipstick for something neutral. Though her foundation is flawless as always, she’s skipped the heavy eye makeup and looks more natural, like she did back in school.
