“That’s what they all say.” I shove his face into the brick wall. “You piece of shit.”
“Shane,” Kane says, reaching out to take the packet from me. “Go easy.” He squeezes my shoulder, and I know I’m letting my emotions get the better of me. Anyone else, I may have turned a blind eye while off duty. There’s not enough here to deal. It’s clear he’s bought it for personal use.
I let go of Ash and step back with clenched fists, ready to knock him out if he steps out of line. “If it’s not yours, then who is it for?”
Lilly’s been disappointed enough. She’d be devastated if she found out he was using again, but even more hurt if I knocked his fucking teeth out.
“It’s for Jodie. She relapsed thanks to you.” He spits, but it doesn’t reach my face and lands on my boot.
I should make him clean it, but I know he would sooner spend a night at the station. My face screws up as I look down and back at him. “How the fuck is it my fault that your girlfriend relapsed?”
“You took her son.” The vein in his neck bulges as he struggles to keep his anger at bay. Blood rushes to his throbbing temple as his eyes darken with every ounce of hatred he has for me.
He’s never forgiven me for arresting him eight years ago. I was new to the job and held no sway. I had no choice but to arrest him when he was at the scene of a crime.
Memories of the woman and kid from the drug raid come flooding back to me. “She was high as a kite. The kid was up to its eyeballs in shit. That’s why social services stepped in.”
“Liar.” His brow furrows, as if he’s contemplating my words.
“That kid’s better off away from its smack?—”
“Enough, Shane,” Kane says. He lifts the bag of crack and turns to Ash. “This ain’t helping her mate.”
“It’s better she gets it from a trusted source than off someone else,” Ash bites back, but he won’t disrespect Kane like he does me. Between the two of them, there’s a bond and mutual respect that I’ll never understand. He thinks because I was once family he can say what he likes to me, despite me being a cop.
“And who’s your trusted dealer? Who the fuck was that?”
“I’m no grass, pig.”
“Watch your fucking mouth.” I snatch the gear from Kane. “I’m keeping this. If I see you around here again, Iwillnick you.”
He snarls, baring his teeth again. “You’ll get what’s coming to you.” He mounts an old bicycle that looks like he’s stolen it from a kid and mutters as he cycles away, “Bent fucking cop.”
It’s almost comical, watching him ride a kid’s bike. His clothes looked like they were from a charity bag, too, but at least he seemed clean. The last thing Lilly needs right now is to have to deal with her brother on top of her mum and studies.
“Why do you let him get to you?” Kane asks, lighting another cigarette. “You’re not related to him anymore. You don’t have to watch out for him.”
“I’m not watching out for him. I hate that motherfucker.”
“You say that, but I know deep down, you’ve always wanted to help him.”
“Well, I’ve learnt from my mistakes. Some people can’t be helped.” I take the cigarette from Kane and inhale, closing my eyes as the nicotine hits, calming my last fucking nerve that Ash was on.
“Everyone can be helped.” He leans back against the wall, blowing out a plume of smoke. “Nobody was more fucked up than me.” He lets out a low chuckle.
“You got that right. You’re still fucked.” I jab his shoulder, so he knows I’m kidding. Even though I’m not.
He laughs along with me, both of us knowing we’re all screwed one way or another. Sooner or later, skeletons in the closet have a way of getting out, but if anyone upsets my woman, there’ll be hell to pay.
There’s no live tonight with Lilly. She’s working an evening shift. I check the time on my watch, knowing she should finish round about now. She’ll go home, take her makeup off and get in bed, or maybe have a bath. I groan inwardly, thinking of her. I’m so pent up after running into Ash, I need to let off some steam and this cigarette is barely taking the edge off.
I’m done with watching from the sidelines. There’s only one thing for it. If my little sister-in-law fantasises about someone breaking in and tying her up, then who am I to deny her?
20
LILLY
Iroll over in my bed and pull a pillow over my ear to muffle the barks from next door.
