The door closes, and I need to go to her. “Be right back. I’ll make sure she knows how you take your tea and maybe get some of those nice biscuits you like.” Rising from the chair, I dash to the door, ignoring Hyacinth’s protests.
Outside the room, I pull Lilly against my chest, wanting to take away all her pain. Both my parents have passed. I never got to say goodbye to my father, another thing I failed at. But watching Hyacinth deteriorate is like losing a piece of her over and over again.
Lilly wraps her arms around my waist, her shoulders shake as she silently sobs into the crook of my neck. “I thought she might remember me because she remembered you.”
My hand soothes up and down her spine, my other cradles the back of her head, tangling into her long black glossy waves. With a scratchy throat, I say, “I know. I’m sorry, Lil.”
“It’s not your fault.” She sniffles against my shirt, her warm breath against my neck, and I’m reminded of what we’ve done. Or what I’ve done. Guilt climbs up my throat, making it difficult to swallow. Shame claws at my neck, making me itch.
I pull away, but cup her face in my palms. Black streaks run from her eyes, and I swipe my thumb under them. I’d do anything to take away her sadness. “She remembers you as a little girl. She doesn’t know you’re a grown woman.” I kiss her forehead, wanting to kiss away all her tears, but instead, I pull her back against me, cradling her head and kissing the side of her temple.
We hold each other like this for a beat too long. Her heart beats in rhythm with mine as if we’re one, united by loss and grief. My heart knows her pain all too well after losing a parent to sickness. There’s nothing I can do but be here for her, and if sitting on a live with her every night gives her an escape from this cruel world, then that’s what I’ll do.
My fingers massage her scalp as I cradle her head in my large palm. “I’ll stay with your mum for a while. Why don’t you go home, take a bath and I’ll pick you up in a few hours to take you out.”
She lifts her head, and her silvery eyes stare up at me. “You want to take me out?” She scrunches her nose up as if the idea of us going on a date repulses her. “My sis?—”
“Can’t a brother-in-law take his lil sis out for a drink?” I give her my best grin. “I mean, how can you resist this handsome face?”
She rolls her eyes. “Haggard, more like, didn’t Mum say you were looking weary?”
“She thinks one year in the army has made these wrinkles.” I point to the lines around my eyes that deepen when I smile.
Lilly examines my face. “I have some cream for that. You should start taking better care of your skin.” She bites her plump red lip, fighting back a smile.
“You think that’s why I can’t get a date, because of my wrinkles?”
“Maybe it’s that shit-eating grin you have.” She doesn’t know the only person I want to date is her.
My body refuses to let go, still holding her in my arms.
She fists the fabric on the back of my shirt. Her long nails scratching through the material send a bolt of electricity straight to my groin, waking up my dick.
She must feel something as she sucks in a sharp breath. We break apart. The magnetic force that was keeping us fused together is now the same force keeping us apart.
I’m definitely not grinning anymore. Every fibre of my being wants to pull her back into my arms and tell her how much I want her. But I know where I stand. I won’t ruin the relationship she has with her sister by breaking some girl code or whatever.
“I want to see you smile again. I’ll pick you up at eight.”
13
LILLY
After my bath, I text @sarge_in_charge
I might be late tonight. I hope that’s all right.
He takes a while to reply so I do my skincare routine, applying my moisturiser to even out my skin tone and take some of the redness out of my cheeks after a soak. I know hot baths are not ideal for rosacea, but I love nothing more than a long soak with a facemask and candles.
Of course. Just let me know when you’re ready.
What are you up to?
I reply while I wait for my primer to dry.
I’m going out with friends.
I want you to use my gift.
