Margot raises one of her grey, bushy brows before staring back at Mrs Riley’s chart.
I glance over my shoulder and catch Shane’s gaze. He stops in the middle of the ward, his mouth parted as if something just knocked the wind out of him.
Biting my lip, I try to hide my smile, but give him a subtle wave while Margot studies the chart.
His mouth curls up in the corner, and he nods in my direction before continuing to Mr Brown’s bed. The poor man was attacked in his home and robbed last night. The only thing they took was a lousy few hundred quid.
I follow Margot around the bays, administering the necessary medication and checking on the patients as I do every day. This is what I love about nursing; interacting with the patients. It’s the simple things in life like a nice cup of tea and being comfortable that mean everything to them. Some just want someone to talk to or hold their hand so they don’t feel so alone.
It’s why I enjoy doing lives with my subscribers. Most people see a bunch of pervs wanting to get off, but often they’re just lonely, and I offer them an escape. Somewhere they can express themselves without judgement, and they can be seen and heard. I know what it’s like to be in a room full of people and still be lonely.
I’ve spent the last few years trying to have a relationship with a man who was emotionally unattainable. Kane never saw the real me. He was a bit of fun and nothing more, especially when he wouldn't even sleep in the same bed as me. I just wish I’d realised that sooner. We both took what we wanted from the other, and he was good with his hands in more ways than one. But that’s where it ended. He was never going to be one for deep and meaningful conversations. At least not with me, anyway.
Violet did me a favour when she showed up. Not hanging out with Kane gave me some extra time to work on my content. What started out as feet videos turned into something more that makes me feel confident and sexy. Having acne and rosacea growing up, I’ve never felt confident in my own skin. Having a bunch of subscribers log on every night to watch me is empowering.
Hazel told me about the app and how her friend makes a shitload of money walking around the room in her police uniform. So I bought a few sexy costumes and started creating content.
One particular client sent me a naughty nurse costume to wear along with a nice payment and it became a fan favourite, pulling in the most views. I know it’s wrong to wear it in my profession, but I only did it because the clients kept asking for it. Over time, the outfit got shorter and shorter until I was ready to wear something more revealing.
The extra money helps. I’m in a lot of debt after taking a pay cut and with Mum in the care home and Ash needing help, I had no choice but to keep paying my mortgage with nowhere else to go.
“Have you checked the dose, Lilly?” Margot gives me a stern look.
“Of course.” I furrow my brow.
“It’s just every time the policeman comes in here, your brain turns to mush.” Her foot taps against the linoleum floor as she digs a fist into her hip.
It’s more like my vagina turns to a weeping mess. I’m still able to keep my wits about me. A little like last night when I was talking to my new subscriber. I rarely get turned on by a client, but then I’ve never had one be so forceful and dominating before.
“Finish up with these patients, and you might get to see him before he goes.”
My head snaps up. Birds take flight in my stomach.
Her mouth curves in the corner. “Don’t act so surprised. I was young once, you know.”
“Thank you. But there’s nothing between us.” The flutters turn to nausea, knowing he’ll never be mine. “He’s my sister’s ex-husband.”
She makes some notes on the patient’s chart. “That certainly puts a spanner in the works.”
Back at the nurse’s station, Shane approaches the desk in full uniform. Black’s always been his colour to match his black curly hair and his black beard peppered with grey. “All done with Mr Brown. He was asking for someone to help him.”
“I’ll see to him.” Hazel jumps from the chair, leaving me alone with Shane.
“How’s the investigation?” I shuffle some paperwork and tidy up the desk, anything to distract me from him. Something about him in uniform does things to me I can’t explain.
He adjusts his tie under his police vest. “It’s hard to convict anyone with no cameras, no fingerprints, and no way of identifying the perpetrators, but I needed to ask a few more questions. There was another break in last night on the same estate. Luckily, the old lady wasn’t harmed and slept through the whole thing only to wake up this morning with her door busted open and her purse missing.”
My hand flies to my chest over my heart. “Thank goodness she was okay.”
“How about you, anyway? Are you all right? You seemed tired last night. Did you get some rest?” He strokes his short beard, eyeing me as if he can extract the answer without me speaking a word. As a troublemaking teenager, he could always tell if I was lying. Thank goodness he was on tour most of the time.
“Yeah. I had a long soak in the bath.” I give him a wide smile. At least I’m not lying. I had a bath before I went online and was hacked by a man of mystery with a deep voice that could make me do anything he asked. And he doesn’t need to know about how I got myself off after my live ended. That was the most relaxing thing I did last night.
“Good. You look refreshed.” His fingers sweep a lock of my hair from my cheek. “You’re glowing this morning.”
Two orgasms from my rosebud is better than any skincare routine. But that’s probably sweat he’s seeing from lifting Mr Wilson a moment ago. I should check my foundation. So much for a long-lasting matte finish.
“I just needed to recharge.” If anything, I need to recharge my rose after last night. I look up through my lashes and bite my lip with a smile.
