“Social services won’t let him anywhere near me after this.” He sniffles again. “I’ve no doubt your boyfriend told them all about me waving a gun in his face. I’m just waiting for the cops to escort me to a cell any minute.”
“That’s not gonna happen. He left that part out. And once the DNA test comes through, Shane and I will help you get him back.”
His eyes shine under the sun’s rays. “I know you’d do that for me, but I expect nothing from him.”
“Shane’s a good man, Ash.”
He raises an eyebrow as if to question me. “As long as he treats you right, I don’t care what he does.”
“He treats me like I’m the most important thing in his life. He even—” I stop myself from saying what I was about to say. That he killed for me. “He would die for me.”
Ash nods his head as if understanding what I was trying to say. “I should have had the balls to end Levi years ago. He deserved what he got. At least that’s one thing we can agree on.” His hand rubs his shoulder over the dressing, and he winces again.
“Shall I get some more pain relief?” I’m about to wave Hazel over, but Ash lowers my arm.
“Leave it. I like the pain. It’s the first time I’ve felt anything real in a long time.”
We both sit here in silence for a while. The sun makes everything seem brighter, as if the new day has brought with it a ray of hope for all our futures.
45
SHANE
While Lilly is at the hospital, I go to the store. The inspector told me to take some time off, so I want to use that time to make sure Lilly has everything she needs and the least I can do is cook her favourite meal tonight.
Today’s gonna be rough. I wish she’d let me come into the hospital with her, but with how unstable Ash is at the moment, the last thing I want to do is make things worse.
My insides are in knots as I drive through town, past Fern’s home. Lilly said she was going to see her sister after she’d seen Ash. I’m not sure how she’ll take it, especially after the night I had pizza with them. She made jokes about it being awkward, but I didn’t find it awkward at all. If anything, it felt like old times. Towards the end, Fern and I were more like roommates than lovers, anyway. The only time we had sex was when it fitted in with her ovulation schedule. I’m sure she would have preferred to use a turkey baster if she could.
As much as I hate that this is gonna put a strain on Lilly and Fern’s relationship, is it selfish of me to want Fern in my kids’ life? Despite our differences, she’s a good person and a good sister to Lil, but I’m not sure how she’ll take this news. If only Icould talk to her and explain. She has to see it from my point of view.
Fuck it. I slam on the brakes and turn the car around and head towards Fern’s. I may not be able to do anything about Ash, but I can talk to Fern. Lilly might not want me interfering, but her happiness is my number one priority, and I won’t have her stubborn sister upsetting her. We have a baby to think about now, and I'll be damned if I let Lilly be put under any additional stress.
Parking behind Fern’s car, the knot in my stomach tightens.
I knock on her door, then shove my hands into my black hoody.
Fern answers the door, her eyes widening. “Oh. It’s you.”
I rock back on my heels. “It’s me.”
“I was just cleaning up. Have you come to fix the gate?” Her hand smoothes over her messy hair, and she folds her arms over her chest, trying to hide the stains on what looks like an old t-shirt. “I wish you’d have called first. I would have made myself more presentable.”
I have to laugh. Why ever she thinks she needs to dress up for me, I’ll never know. Unless she thinks I’m still holding out for her. I run a hand over my face with a silent groan. “Remember that time you had a sickness bug?”
She pinches her brow. “Yeah?”
“I cleaned your sick and shit up for days.” I give her a smile.
“Gross. Why would you bring that up?”
“I think I’ve seen you at your worst. Can I come in?”
She steps aside, holding the door open for me. “What’s going on, Shane?”
I move the hoover to the side as I walk through the small hallway. “Where’s Harry?”
“He’s in his bedroom. Why?” Her face pales as she follows me into the kitchen. “Has something happened?”
