It hits me that our kid won’t have any doting grandparents, and if Fern and Ash want nothing to do with us, it won’t have an aunty or uncle either, except for the family I’ve found in my brothers. “She might never understand our situation, but this kid is gonna want for nothing.”
I kiss her forehead. “With you for a mother, it’s gonna be the luckiest kid alive.”
She nuzzles into my chest, kissing me there as her fingers play with the hair covering my ink. “Can we do this every morning?”
“That’s my plan.” I stroke my fingers over the creases in her back and down to the dimples above her ass. “We’ll put your house on the market or look at renting, and you can move in with me. The spare bedroom next door will make a great nursery.”
Her head tilts back to gaze into my eyes, worry creasing her brow. “I actually wanted to move Ash into my home for a while. Help him get back on his feet and keep an eye on him. Please don’t be mad.”
My palm cups her rosy cheek. “Whatever he needs, we’ll help him together.”
“I love you,” she whispers against my chest, as if she’s speaking directly to my heart.
I’m sure it hears her as it skips a beat. “I love you, trouble.”
44
LILLY
I’m on compassionate leave at work after what happened last night, but it feels like I’m working as I walk through the double doors onto the ward. I take a deep breath, inhaling the familiar redolent of disinfectant.
Hazel walks towards me down the bright corridor, doing a double take as she glances my way. “Lilly?” She rushes the remaining few steps towards me. “I almost didn’t recognise you without your makeup on.” She opens her arms and pulls me into a hug. “I thought you were taking some time off? The whole ward’s talking about you. What happened?”
“My brother’s girlfriend had a cardiac arrest and his mate had a gun to our head and wouldn’t let us call an ambulance because he had a load of cannabis growing in the bedroom.” I dab in the corner of my eye as they swell with unshed tears. My heart aches for Ash and Jodie. Guilt gnaws at my throat after all the things I said and thought about her. She just needed help, like my brother. Yet again, our healthcare system has failed another person with an addiction.
“Where’s Ash? How is he?” I swallow the acid down, bile burning my oesophagus.
“He’s in bay six. Your ex, Kane, stayed with him all night. He’s still here.”
Relief washes over me. If anyone knows what he’s going through, it’s Kane. “Thanks, Hazel.” My shoulders relax as I walk down the corridor, knowing Kane and Hazel are here makes me feel a little less alone. Shane wanted to come with me today, not wanting to leave my side, but with his and Ash’s history, I thought it best I came alone. This is my mess and I need to sort it. I’ve tried to atone for my actions for the last ten years.
Kane sits in the chair next to Asher’s hospital bed, looking out the glass widow coated in morning dew. The lines on his brow remind me of Shane watching the sunrise, deep in thought.
While Shane was off-limits, I clung to the next best thing. Kane’s like his brother. They’re two peas in a pod and have been since they were kids. An epiphany takes hold of my mind, setting off a chain of lightbulbs in my brain, each one a new revelation of how everything falls into place. Taking care of Kane was like me atoning for my part in my brother’s incarceration.
Kane locks eyes with me from across the room, giving me a sympathetic smile.
Dr Fletcher walks by with a clipboard in hand and stops in front of me. His eyes roam over my body in my casual clothes, my hair in a ponytail and a fresh face. He reaches a hand to my cheek, but I bat it away. He doesn’t get to touch me there.
Kane straightens in his seat. But I don't need him to fight my battles. It's time I said what I’ve wanted to say for a long time.
“If you touch me again, I’ll file a harassment charge. And if you go near my sister again, she’ll call the cops.”
“I…W…” He fumbles his words, shocked by my newfound confidence. Maybe it’s everything that’s happened that’s strengthened me or maybe it’s the life growing inside of me and my protective mother instinct, but I can’t turn a blind eye tohis creepiness any longer. It isn’t me overreacting, and I haven’t brought this on myself. There are no excuses for his behaviour.
His eyes narrow. “May I remind you that I can have you fired for wearing your naughty nurse outfit.”
Another lightbulb goes off in my head. “You sent me the costume?” More acid rises in my throat, tainting everything I loved about my content and the platform. I should never have worn it. I should have refused, but I was too trusting and naïve, thinking my disguise was enough to keep me safe. “Was this your plan? Use it to blackmail me?” It all makes perfect sense now. “And when you were blocked, you thought you’d get close to my sister. Was that to get to me?”
He doesn’t deny it was him. Just stares at me with thin slits and a clenched jaw.
“May I remindyouI have evidence of your subscription to my account for several months, as well as all the messages and gifts you’ve sent me.” I raise an eyebrow, waiting for his next move. I haven’t even played myboyfriend’s a copcard yet, and he’s lost for words.
Tightening his lips into a thin line, he disappears into the staff only room.
Ignoring Dr Fletcher as if he’s a fly I’ve just swatted away, I approach the bed with my brother sleeping like a baby. Unable to help myself, I pull the blanket over the blue sling and cover the bandage on his shoulder.
“Hey,” Kane says softly as he rises from the chair. He waves a hand over Ash. “They gave him something for the pain a while back. I think it’s knocked him out, either that or he’s just exhausted.”
