Lilly taps her long manicured nails against the steering wheel. “I don’t know. Probably his way of protecting you.”
“What? He’d sooner have me think he’s a monster than my own father?”
“That sounds about right.” She glances my way as she drives out of the car park. “What did he tell you?”
“Nothing. That’s the thing. He told me nothing. I had to find out he murdered my father from a letter my mum wrote him in prison. I didn’t even know he’d been in jail. There was nothing in my file.”
She nods her head. “And that’s why you moved out?”
“Yeah, I wasn’t gonna stick around with a murderer, was I?”
“He lost control. It happens when guys come back from war. He found out your mum had been raped, and he lost his shit. He went round to Gavin’s house for a fight and it got out of hand. Gavin fell to the ground and never got up. He was charged with manslaughter, not murder. The two are very different.” She parks outside a small semi-detached house near town.
“I wish he’d just been honest.”
She lifts the hand brake. “Like I said, he probably didn’t want you to know the truth behind it. Your mum didn’t want you to know you were the result of a rape and that’s why Kane said to put his name on the birth certificate. The whole town thought you were his.”
“Did he tell you all this?” I help Lilly with her bags from the back seat.
“Not exactly. He told me some things over the years, and my sister and Shane filled in the gaps. Shane wanted him to tell the truth about the rape, hoping he would get less time with mitigating circumstances. He would have done anything for your mother, and she didn’t want you growing up with that stigma attached to you.”
“Who is your sister?” I follow her into her home. It’s really pretty, cream drapes and carpets, everything pristine just like her.
“My older sister was friends with your mum.” She places her bags on the worktop and begins putting her shopping away.
I sit at her kitchen table and pick at my purple nail varnish. Tears prickle at the back of my throat as I hold them at bay, along with the constant sickness threatening to overflow.
Lilly puts the last of her groceries away in the cupboard, but leaves out a bottle of red wine. “You can stay here if you need a place to stay. You don’t have to go back to the Bennett house.”
I lift my head with pinched eyebrows. “Why are you being nice to me? I thought you’d be glad to have me out of the way.”
She puffs out a small laugh. “Why? Because Kane won’t be distracted anymore?”
I nod. My fingers fiddle with the hem of my work shirt.
“I’m tired of competing with a ghost.” She pours a glass of wine and hands it to me before pouring herself one. “I loved Kane. I really did. Still do. Perhaps I always will, but I’m nother. I thought if anyone could break her spell, it was you. Shane even said he’d never seen him as happy as he had been since you showed up.”
Something in my heart twangs as though tugging on my main artery. I loved him, too. Maybe I still do. Why else would this hurt so badly? I sip the red wine. It’s not really my drink of choice, but anything that will help take the edge off, I’m game. My head shakes, my mind reminding my heart that he lied to us. Mum’s hero or monster, he still lied to me.
I told him my secrets. My hopes and my dreams. He knew all I ever wanted was to have a family of my own, some blood relative where I could belong, and he kept that knowledge from me.
The front door rattles, then boots stomp in the hall. My spine steels, breaths become faster. Soon enough, I’m gasping for air. The tracking app. He’s here.
“Hey, Lil.” Shane steps into the kitchen and my shoulders sag against the chair, and I let out a long breath. Shane glances between us. “Everything okay?”
I sip my wine, sinking further into the chair.
“Violet found out the truth about her parents and moved out of the farmhouse. She’s been staying with the Bennetts.” Lilly pours some pasta in a pan and sets it to boil, then grabs more ingredients from the cupboard.
Shane takes off his coat, hanging it on the back of a chair. “When did this happen?”
“A week ago.” I sip more wine, getting used to the thick texture and rich taste.
Shane runs a hand over his face. “That explains why he bailed on Thursday for pool night. Good thing he did too because the twin’s dad, Gareth, was there. Probably to gloat and taunt him.” Shane grabs a beer from the fridge. It clicks and fizzes as he opens the can and takes several gulps. “Fuck.” He slams the can down on the worktop, making me jump.
“What is it?” Lilly strokes his arm. It’s clear now why she isn’t fussed about Kane anymore. She’s moved on. Who can blame her? They’re like two opposites. One’s a police officer and the other’s a criminal.
“Gareth’s been waiting for something like this. Something he can use against him. He knows one false move from Kane against his family, and he’ll land himself back in the nick.”
