She’s a wild horse that needs to be tamed, and I’m doing my damnedest at breaking her in just a little without breaking that spirit I love. Her supple curves are made to be worshipped and her violet hair just asking to be pulled. I do just that, yanking her head back, and she gasps. I feast on her neck, licking and biting, marking her delicate skin.
“Harder Kane.” Her nails scrape down my biceps as she clings to me, as if her life depends on it. The cabinet rocks, drawers shaking with each bruising thrust.
“My little flower likes it rough?” I fist her hair tighter, forcing her to look at me with flickering lashes. “My perfect pretty petal. Who do you belong to?”
“You, Daddy.” Her eyes light up, glistening under the fluorescent tube hanging from the rafters of the barn.
“Who gets to touch your greedy pussy, taste you, and fill you up?”
“You. Only you.”
“Good girl.” I crash my lips to hers, hungrily taking what’s mine. Knowing I’m not going to last much longer—with her wet heat wrapped around me so fucking tight and slick—I slip my hand between us, circling her little bud. “Come for me, Vi. Come for Daddy.”
Her hands squeeze my biceps, her head drops back and her limbs shake along with the cabinet. Her walls tighten around my dick, then a gush of warmth coats me from the head, dripping onto my balls as her orgasm pulses around me. “Damn, I can feel everything, Vi.”
She flops onto me, her head resting on my shoulder as I wring her orgasm of every last spark, her body jerking with each aftershock and I work my dick into her faster until the fluorescent light above blinds me. With my head rolled back, staring at a bright light, I think I’m in heaven.
In this moment, I could die a happy, fulfilled man, but God has other plans for me. This Nirvana is penance for my sins, so when it’s taken away, it will hurt all the more. But I will take every minute I can, basking in her delight, and maybe, just maybe, she might come back to me one day.
30
VIOLET
Kane’s been in the garage most of the week working on Mike’s MG. I sort the washing out and can’t help a sneak under his bed as I do most days when I’m alone. Each time I read Mum’s words, I get to know her a little more. Her stories in her books aren’t the same, they’re just stories. Her letters are what’s real, her life experiences and what she felt.
Reaching to the bottom of the box, I hope I find a loving letter today, or better still, a letter from Kane to Mum, but I guess they would be with Mum’s things. A thought crosses my mind that they’re in one of the suitcases or boxes stacked in the spare room. I’ll get to sorting those out another day.
My eyebrows pinch when I read the address on the envelope to Kane Harding, Her Majesty’s prison.
Kane
I’m sorry I haven’t visited in a while. It’s just too difficult to get there with a baby in tow. Although I’d like you to meet her at some point, if you still want to. I put your name on the birth certificate like you asked. Everyone thinks she’s yours anyway, which is for the best. Your mum helps when she can, although she isn’t doing too well herself.
We spoke about this many times, but I can’t understand why you still want to be with me after everything that’s happened. I feel ashamed and responsible for how things played out. It’s really lonely at Nan’s place. Nobody comes round anymore. Who can blame them? Nobody wants to be friends with someone whose boyfriend murdered their baby’s dad.
My one friend, Cheryl, has gone to university and I’m grieving for the life I’ve lost, then I feel guilty for your lost life. Ten years is a lifetime.
Love Ali
I gasp for air, reading that one sentence repeatedly, trying to make sense of it.
Nobody wants to be friends with someone whose boyfriend murdered their baby’s dad.
There’s a hammering in my lungs as if someone is knocking down my walls and cutting off my air supply. My head screams like a warning siren.He lied to me. Kane lied when he said he didn’t know who my father was, if I’m reading this letter correctly. My eyes scan it again to be clear.
Nobody wants to be friends with someone whose boyfriend murdered their baby’s dad.
He’s a murderer. My dad. He killed my father.
I search the box for another letter to Her Majesty’s Prison. Frantically scanning each envelope until a single one lies at the bottom of the box. The last letter.
With trembling hands and a shaky breath, I read the contents.
Kane
By the time this letter reaches you, I will be long gone. I’m sorry about your mum’s passing. She was a kind woman. I’m glad you were granted temporary release for her funeral. Seeing you at the grave was too much for me to bear, but I’m glad you could see Violet before she was taken. Thank you for signing the papers. I know you were reluctant to give her up, hoping we’d one day be a family. But that could never be. It’s better this way. If she ever found out the truth about you, it would destroy her. She’s better far away from the both of us. We’ve given her the chance at a better life than we could ever give and I can go, knowing she’ll be taken care of.
I’m sorry about everything. You say I’ve nothing to be ashamed of, but I have so many regrets that haunt me. My days are a living nightmare. Sleep never comes and when it does, I’m haunted by the past. I can’t go on like this and now Violet is gone. I have nothing to live for.
