Mouth watering, I scan the chalkboard menu on the wall. “Full English?” I cringe inwardly. My foster mother’s voice ringing in my head and telling me to have poached egg and avocado or something. She was always trying to make me lose weight so I could fit in with her perfect family and be more like my foster sister, Maddie.
He nods to the woman behind the counter. “Two full English breakfasts, please.” He chucks a note on the counter before we sit in the corner of the cabin.
I relax my shoulders, realising Kane doesn’t care at all about how much I eat, and I shouldn’t either.
4
KANE
Using an elasticated bobble wrapped around her wrist, she pulls her hair back into a ponytail, revealing a set of piercings down her ear with silver rings and blue and purple stoned studs. She looks like a little rebel. Probably one that’s going to cause me trouble, but her vulnerability last night made me want to help her out.
Blue and purple streaks line her head, mixed with what I assume is her natural shade of chocolate brown, like Ali’s.
I can’t take my eyes off her. “You look just like her, you know.”
Her smile widens. “How so?”
“Everything from your hazel eyes and brown hair.” I reach out to tuck a loose purple strand behind her ear. “She didn’t have any of this, though.” A smile cracks my face. I can’t remember the last time I smiled involuntarily. It feels good, especially seeing Vi smile along with me and look down all shy with a small giggle. Opening my wallet, I slide it across the table. A faded picture of Ali sits in the window of the leather.
She swallows, looks into my sad eyes and back to the picture. Her own eyes fill with sadness. “She’s beautiful.”
I want to say like her daughter, but it doesn’t seem like the right time. Nor does telling her she had the same big tits and delicious curves just like her.
“She loved you, you know. She just couldn’t take care of you.” I run a hand over my face, knowing things would have been different if I’d been around. If my anger hadn’t got the better of me. I left her on her own when she needed me most. I still blame myself for her death, but I’m gonna make up for all that now and give this kid everything she needs.
Her voice wobbles. “Why did she give me up?”
“She didn’t have a choice. She was alone. When she turned to drink, social services got involved.” I hand her a napkin to dry her eyes before the thick black eyeliner runs down her cheek.
“Two English breakfasts,” Carole says, setting the plates down. I pull my wallet back and slide it into my pocket. Carole’s eyes fix on Vi for a beat too long, clearly seeing the resemblance when she gives me a warm smile and her hand grazes my shoulder as she walks away. She knew my parents and has always looked out for me since I was a kid.
Violet digs into her food like she’s never been fed. This girl likes to eat, just like her mother. Though the last time I saw Ali, she’d lost loads of weight. All the beautiful curves I loved were gone, leaving a shell of the woman that was my world. The drink and everything else had taken its toll. At my mother’s funeral, I knew something was off. All I could do was tell her how much I loved her.
“How did you and Mum meet?” she says with a mouthful of beans.
“She lived down the road. We went to the same school, but I was a year older.”
She shoves in another mouthful of beans. Watching her eat is just as satisfying as eating my own breakfast, knowing she’s getting a good meal inside her. “What about her parents? My grandparents?”
“She lived with her grandma. Her mother was never around. She never knew her father.”
She swallows and looks down at her plate, moving the mushroom around in the beans. “Just like me then, huh?”
Seeing her deflate cracks the stone around my heart. It’s been dormant for so long, shutting out all feelings. I didn’t even allow myself to feel when my father passed—the only reason I moved back to this godforsaken place. I was going to sell his farmhouse, but I couldn’t bring myself to. So many memories of growing up there and withher.
“Is her grandma still alive?” She looks up at me, her hazel eyes full of hope.
I shake my head. “She passed away before your mum…before you were born.”
Her head drops again. “How did it happen? Mum, I mean, how did she die?”
The lump in my throat prevents me from speaking. She wants answers, but I’m not ready to go back there. I’ve blocked it out for so long. Another crack to my heart as I stare into her eyes. A smattering of freckles lies across her beautiful face from the long summer we’ve had. “It was the drink that killed her. She was sick.”
She nods, a wrinkle between her brows present, showing more questions whirling around that head of hers.
“Eat.” I point to her breakfast and continue with mine, enjoying watching her and being in her presence. Something swells in my chest. A feeling I haven’t felt in a long time. Probably since before everything went to shit.
Gazing at Vi chewing on her bacon gives me hope I can atone and do something right for her mother after all these years.
