My knuckles glide up the valley of her tits, through the trickle of cum flowing over her skin. I rub my seed over her stiff peak before coating the other. Her chest shimmers under the flickering light of the forgotten movie, glowing a multitude of colours like a violet sky. Only, I know what a violet sky means, and I must prepare for the oncoming storm. But this moment is worth any war and I’ll fight to the death, even though I can’t keep her.
Moving my palm to her neck, I smooth my thumb over her bottom lip, forcing her to taste my cum. She darts her tongue out, lapping up my offering.
“So fucking beautiful.” I hover inches from her lips. Every muscle in my body draws me closer to her, but I fight the urge to smother her mouth and claim her for myself. We can never be, despite my unconditional love for her, the same love I had for her mother a lifetime ago. She needs to get as far away from this town as possible and keep running, never looking back. One day I’ll help her on her way, but not this day and not tomorrow. First, I’ll keep her here for my selfish guilt while I atone for my sins. Then I’ll release her to soar over violet fields into a cloudless sky to be the woman I know she can be. A woman her mother would be proud of and the best version of herself.
With my fist gripping the sofa, I push up, tucking my dick back in my jeans. I take in the sight of her one last time, caressing her body with my gaze, before grabbing my beer from the coffee table and heading to bed.
She doesn’t speak, but her eyes convey everything, all the sadness she feels. Once behind my closed door, I bang my head against the wood, taking another sip of my beer. Thoughts of her naked and vulnerable, stripped bare for my selfish pleasure, gnaw at my insides. Acid coats my throat, and I wash it down with another swig.
I’ve degraded her, branded her, and left her vulnerable. Will she hate me in the morning? Tonight’s act chews on my nerves, and each breath I take is laced with more guilt than the night I took my belt to her.
She took my punishment, and tonight she took my degradation. Tomorrow she’ll take my apology when I put a stop to this. Whatever this is between us. Fuck. I don’t even know what it is. Only that it’s wrong on so many fucking levels.
The girl came to me looking for a father, and I took her in, hoping for a second chance at a life that can never be. A dream I once had of a wife and a daughter. Now the lines are so blurred, I don’t know which I want her to be. I’m tap dancing on a tightrope and whichever side I choose, I fall to the depths of hell because I know the truth. I don’t deserve her love as either wife or daughter.
17
VIOLET
“Vi?” My name on his tongue sounds sweeter than any dawn chorus. Two knocks against my door force me to open my eyes, then blink in the morning light and face my reality.
“Vi, are you awake?”
I gulp. Wanting to face him, but terrified at the same time. “I am now.” A rapid flow of heat pumps through my veins, warming my body, despite the morning chill. Memories of last night flood me as I change from my damp shorts into a clean pair of knickers and leggings.
Anticipation grows in my chest with each rushed breath. Hopes of him kissing me and touching me and fucking me. Last night he left me naked and alone, but I could tell he fought it. The tick in his jaw and the twitch on his lips told me he wanted to kiss me as much as I needed him to.
“I made breakfast.”
My shoulders sag against the wardrobe. Great. Another apology breakfast. “Be right down.”
The stairs creek, letting me know he’s gone back to the kitchen. I tie my hair up in a bobble before following.
The table is set for two. Sausages sizzle in the pan along with bacon and eggs. A full English. He’s going all out with this apology. He turns away from the stove, his tired eyes raking from my bare feet to the messy bun on my head.
Kane scratches the salt and pepper bristles on his jaw. “I wanted to apologise for last night.” Here we go. He serves up the food onto our plates and pours us both a coffee.
I slide onto the wooden chair at the big table. “It’s fine.” I wave a hand to dismiss whatever it is he thinks he needs to apologise for. My insides squeeze so tight as I cringe inwardly.
He drops my plate in front of me with a growl. “It’s not fine. I was out of order. It’s no excuse, but I’d had a drink and when I came home—” He pauses, his chest expanding under his grey t-shirt as if he’s recalling the memory. “I can’t remember much. I’m sorry, I was buzzed. It won’t happen again.” He sits opposite me, looking at his food as he eats, avoiding my gaze.
My shoulders curl inwards at his confession. A small part of me hoped—as I walked down the stairs—he would kiss me, apologise for leaving me last night, and tell me it won’t happen again. He would saynext time, I’ll take you to my bed and make love to you all night.Maybe that’s a stretch, but I wanted him to own it. He didn’t seem drunk or stoned or whatever he means by buzzed, but if he wants to play it this way, I’m glad he doesn’t remember much.
“There isn’t anything to apologise for. I was tripping too.”
His wide eyes lift to mine. “If I knew you were under any influence, I’d never have taken advantage of you. I swear.”
Fuck, my lie seems to have made things worse. I only had one joint, and it was earlier in the evening. Not even enough to give me the munchies. “It’s okay. I’ve already forgotten about it.”
He inhales a deep, pained breath. “Where’d you get the gear from?”
Fork swirling in the air, I gulp down the bite of sausage, then point behind me. “I found a stash in your kitchen cupboard.”
He relaxes back into the chair. “It’s okay. If you want to smoke, I’d sooner you have my stuff than someone else’s. Make sure you know what you’re smoking. You hear?”
Now he’s back to parent mode. I roll my eyes, moving the food around my plate.
With a tightness in his tone, he demands my attention. “Look at me, Vi.”
