I swallow the bile threatening to fill my mouth and take a deep breath. “I believe you. What about Kane?”
Jack bristles at the mention of his name. “What about him?”
“Well, it’s clear we’re not gonna be having any family barbecues, but can you at least forgive him?”
Jack sighs. “It’s hard to let go of the anger and bitterness against Kane after it's been drilled into my head my whole life. But he did save my life, so I'll try to come around. Just give me time, Letty.”
Story of my life. Everyone wants time. I suppose time’s a great healer, but it’s been twenty years. How much more time is going to be wasted? All because of my mother’s lies.
Bile rises in my throat each time I think of her. I can forgive Kane. I can forgive Jesse and Jack. Heck, I can even forgive Gareth, but I cannot forgive my mother.
Jesse tenses. “This whole mess has been one big misunderstanding. I told Dad it’s gone on long enough, and I told him the truth of it.”
I huff. “You don’t know the half of it.”
He nods his head. “I do, Letty. I know everything.” His eyes close as he exhales. “I read your mother’s diary when I packed your stuff up.”
I turn to Jack as I rub at the throb in my temple. My cheeks heat at the embarrassment of them knowing my business. “Did you read it too?” It’s one thing reading my mother’s words, but I’d made notes. It was personal with my own thoughts and feelings. “Bet you both had a good laugh, right?” Tears threaten my eyes, but I’ve cried enough these past weeks.
Jesse closes his fist tight around my hand. The boys share a look of understanding. “It’s not like that. We know more than anyone what it’s like to have a shit mother. And let’s be honest, Dad cared more about revenge than he ever did about the two of us.”
Jack places his hand over the top of Jesse’s, where he holds mine. “You’re not alone.”
With the soft tone of Jack’s voice and the way his blue eyes plead full of sorrow, I’m relieved they know my truths. It’s comforting having them share in my struggles.
“You’ll always have a home at ours. Dad’s gonna plead guilty, so he’s gonna be in the clink for the foreseeable future,” Jack says with a wrinkled brow. “I guess the three of us are all each other has left of family.”
“Thanks. But I’m saving to get my own place.”
“I’m sure we can find you some work when the summer season picks up.”
Marie walks by. “Ugh, I’m not working with her.”
Jack rolls his eyes. “She’ll come around.”
I wave my hand in the air. “It’s fine. I might go to uni. I haven’t decided yet.” In truth, I’m still hoping Kane gets in touch. It seems like I’m not the only one who needs to stand on my own two feet around here, but the boys have a home and a business already established. I’m starting from scratch. It’s kind of refreshing having a clean slate. I just wish the clean slate involved Kane.
After the fire, it was the perfect time to rebuild our relationship like a phoenix rising from the ashes. But foundations need to heal before we can rebuild.
51
KANE
My phone pings. The usual sound I long to hear when it tells me she’s on the move. I open the app and watch the dot travel from Yaz’s place to the supermarket. She doesn’t need to work there. She’s too exposed to her past there. I don’t like it. She should be here safe with me. Shane’s right. All Vi’s ever wanted is a family. I can be that for her. I can be everything she needs. I just need to get off this guilt trip I’m on. What happened in the past can’t be changed, but I sure as hell can make sure we both have a future. Together. If she’ll still have me.
Belle whines against my leg, reminding me to carry on with my task and fill up her bowl. “Sorry girl. Here you go.”
I inhale a deep breath, glancing around the place. She hadn’t been here long, but already the place is full of her. The cushions she bought for the sofa and the rug she got for in front of the fire and a new bed for Belle. Her book still sits on the windowsill and her purple hoodie on the back of the sofa. I lift it to my nose and breathe in her scent. I fucking miss her.
Clutching the hoodie in my hand, I grab the keys from the hook and jump in the Ranger. I’ll carry her out of that damn supermarket if I have to. My foot hits the accelerator, flooring it as I speed down the bypass. I can’t get to her fast enough now I’ve made up my mind that she belongs with me. Whatever issues I have, we can deal with them together. We are what each other needs, and I fucking need her like I need oxygen. This life is too much of a struggle without her in it.
She made me want to live again. I couldn’t wait to get out of bed every morning to see her face, smell her hair, and learn more about her. I was even thinking of buying her a fucking PlayStation so she can play that game she likes.
I park up at the supermarket, my stomach weaving a knot so tight that only Vi can unravel it. The automatic doors slide open as I approach the entrance. A floral scent hits me from the square stand full of bouquets. One particular bunch stands out, full of purple and pink flowers. If I’m about to grovel, I may as well go all in.
With the huge bouquet in my grip making me sneeze, I walk up and down each aisle, looking for her violet hair. I pull my phone from my pocket and check the app again to make sure she’s still here. A girl with long jet black hair pulls a pallet of cereal boxes down the aisle and I recognise her moody scowl.
“Do you know where Vi is?”
