She places the plate down in front of me as I sit at the kitchen table. Then she sits across from me, giving me the once over like she always does when I’ve stepped out of the shower. Damn, every time she looks at me like that, something stirs deep in my groin. Something that’s been dormant for a long time. I can’t go there with her. I shouldn’t even want to go there, but my dick wants what it wants.
I push the thought away and the serpent that tempts me each time I’m around her. Since the day she showed up on my doorstep, I’ve tried to keep my shit together forher. For Alison. For myself. I’ll be damned if I ruin this father daughter relationship we’re building. At least that’s what I’m trying to give her. Something stable in her life, compared to all the other failed attempts over the years.
“I got a job today.” She beams at me with the proudest smile on her face.
I drop my fork, clattering against the plate while I chew down the perfectly cooked medium-rare steak. “Where?”
“The supermarket in town.”
“I told you not to drive your car until I’ve fixed your belt.” I scowl at her for defying me. “Why didn’t you say you needed a ride? You could have borrowed the Ranger or I would have taken you.”
“It was only into town. My car made it all the way here, didn’t it? I figured a few miles there and back wouldn’t hurt. And you were busy in the barn.”
“You should have still told me you were going out. What if something had happened to you?” Since seeing the Bennett brothers drop her off the other day, it’s only natural that I want to protect what’s mine. I may not be her family, but it's my name on her birth certificate. She’ll always be mine.
“Sorry. I didn’t think. I wanted it to be a surprise, that’s all.” She moves the food around her plate. Her beaming smile swapped for a frown.
“I am surprised. You don’t have to work there. I can support you.”
“I’m eighteen. You won’t want me here forever. I need a way of earning some money of my own.”
I shovel a forkful of potatoes into my mouth and nod in agreement. I can’t keep her locked up here with me forever, as much as I’d like to keep her safe. She’s probably more wise to the ways of the world than most grown women. Another crack to my heart when I think of her struggles. Guilt weighs heavily on my chest, making it hard to swallow.
“I am proud of you. When do you start?”
Her beaming smile reappears. “Monday. 8.30am. Do you think the part for my car will arrive by then? And I don’t need you to fix her. I can change a fan belt.”
“Oh?”
“One of the foster placements owned a garage. I used to help. Although, I did more work than his son, who was a paid employee. I didn’t mind. It was the best place I lived.” She sighs at the memory.
“What happened?”
“I got moved because social services found out their son was sleeping with me.” She says it so nonchalant like it’s a natural occurrence.
I drop my fork against the plate again with a clatter, my teeth grinding together at the thought of anyone taking advantage of her. “Did he force himself on you?” I don’t want to hear it, but I need to know.
She freezes. The only movement is her mouth chewing on her steak, her eyes wide as she swallows. “Shit, no. I would’ve kicked his arse. But because he was seventeen, and they classed me as a minor at fifteen, they moved me to another location. I’m sure my so-called friend dobbed us in. She probably fancied him herself.”
I relax my shoulders a little but continue to grind my teeth as she talks about fucking some guy at fifteen. When she comes up for breath, I can’t contain my thoughts any longer. “Your mum wouldn’t have wanted that for you.” Fuck, I didn’t want that for her. The thought of anyone taking advantage of her at such a young age sickens me.
“Well, Mummy wasn’t around, was she? Maybe if I had a loving mother and father, I wouldn’t have lost my virginity at fifteen, looking for someone to fill the void.” She drops her knife and fork on the table and pushes her chair back, scraping the legs along the tiles. When she stands and turns away from me in front of the sink, her reflection in the dark kitchen window reveals her sadness. She’s no longer the feisty woman that was before me, but a little girl desperate to be loved.
My chair scrapes as I stand, too. I need to comfort her. If not for her, but for my own retribution. Tentatively, I place my hands on her shoulders.
She lifts a hand. “Sorry. It’s no biggie.”
I glance into the window. Rain slowly runs down the pane, making it look as if she’s weeping. As if showing a true reflection of how her heart cries on the inside, but she has to put on this hard exterior.
“You can’t pretend with me.” I move my hand lower to her arm, fighting the urge to swallow her up, taking all her pain away. She sags back against my chest. My chin rests against her shoulder and I catch her scent. The scent that’s purely her. Not the cooking oil and furniture polish. It’s the scent of her body mixed with a hint of fruit from her shampoo.
My lips are close to her neck, itching to press against her skin. Her breath halts and I freeze. Taking another glance at her reflection, our eyes meet in the darkened glass. I stay locked with her for a moment longer, tightening my hold on her and she lets me.
Gazing at Vi through the window takes me back twenty years. I can’t take away Ali’s sorrow. It’s too late for that, but I can take care of this frail girl and give her the love she craves and a life that was robbed from her.
7
VIOLET
