JOY
What just happened? I stare at the front door as if waiting for Nick to walk back in and tell me I had a nightmare. But with the tears staining my cheeks and the sobs wracking my chest, it’s clear this is my life. A too familiar reality that’s happened to me before.
The kitchen spins and suddenly, I’m back in college. My secret crush giving me my first kiss only to make fun of me the next day. I’ve spent years building up my confidence. Years of turning down men in bars because I feared getting hurt again. I vowed that the next time I gave away one of my firsts, it would be to someone who deserved it.
I thought Nick was different. I actually thought he liked me. With my sleeve, I wipe my tears, remembering the beautiful woman on his wall. Of course, I was always going to be the side character in his story. He already had a leading lady.
Trudging into my room, I flop on the bed, hugging my pillow. It still smells of Nick. Out of frustration, I throw it to the other end of the room, not needing any more reminders of him. But everything reminds me of him.
“Joy?”The door creaks open and Sara steps into my bedroom. “Oh, thank fuck it’s you.” She exhales with her hands on her chest. “I kept hearing whimpers. I thought it was a ghost.”
I lift my head from the pillow. “What time is it?”
“About two in the afternoon.” The bed dips as she sits down. “Are you unwell again? What’s wrong? Did you finish work early?”
I wipe my blurry eyes. “I never went in today.” Another sob rises in my throat. “Nick fiiiiiirred me,” I wail, wiping my eyes again.
Sara frowns. “He did what?”
I reach for the roll of toilet paper at the side of my bed and blow my nose. “He fucked me, then fired me.” I throw the tissue on the floor, adding to the pile there.
“That bastard. Wait till I get my hands on him.” Sara’s hand soothes up and down my spine. “I should organise a strike. That’d sort him out.”
I shake my head. “I don’t want anyone else losing their jobs on my account.”
Sara passes me another bundle of tissues. “You should file a report. He can’t get away with this. He can’t just fire you for no reason.”
“He said he was letting me go. That I should take the job in London.”
Sara furrows her brow. “What job in London?”
I sigh. “Dad has secured me a job at a publishing house if I want it. Some friend he knows works there.”
Her shoulders sag. “That sounds awesome,” she says in a monotone voice that contradicts her words. She sighs. “I'll support you no matter what, as long as you're happy.” Her face brightens as if having a lightbulb moment. “I guess I can visit you and stay over when I come to London.”
“When do you ever go to London?”
“Well, if my bestie had a flat in London, I’d def visit more.” She smiles with sparkly eyes, as if imagining all the things she can do in London. “I’ve always wanted to go to that Winter Wonderland. We could see the fireworks on New Year’s live instead of watching them on the telly.”
I flop my head back on the pillow. “That’s great. I’ll think about moving halfway across the country just so you can see some lousy fireworks. Can we go back to hating on Nick again?”
She laughs. “Absolutely. I could talk shit about that miserable chuff all day.”
I close my eyes. Inside, I disagree with everything she says about him. I was in love with the guy. Still am. But hating him right now is easier than loving him.
A small part of me wants to believe he said what he did to help push me towards a better future, like my dad wants, but the bitter twisted pieces of my soul won’t allow me to see reason. The twist of his knife cuts too deep for sane thought.
25
NICK
The office is quiet. This gloomy room holds no charm without her and the shop has no sparkle. I have no motivation. I drop my head in my palms. With only a week to go before Christmas, I may as well pack up now. But I can’t even do that.
I have to keep up this charade for all my staff. If anyone of them gets a whiff that the business and property is up for sale, it’ll ruin their Christmas.
I’ve tried my best to get to know my staff, like Joy said. Jules has her own problems with a sick father-in-law. Lee’s saving for his first house. Steve helps pay his disabled mum’s bills. Every single person in this place relies on me.
I’ve stipulated in the business's sale that I’d like someone willing to keep the staff on, but it’s only a request. And if a buyer doesn’t come forward soon, I’ll have to take whatever I can get, or the bank will.
