She pulls away with an open mouth, holding me at arm’s length. “That dirty bastard. We need to call the union.” She reaches for her phone in her pocket.
“I’m not in the union. Besides, I wanted him to kiss me.” I inhale deeply, soaking up the coffee aroma that fills the kitchen.
She screws her face up as if the mention of me wanting to kiss Nick gives her a bitter taste. “Has he groomed you?” She places her hand on my forehead. “Are you ill?”
I swat her hand away. A half sob, half laugh escapes. “You don’t know him like I do. He’s…” I chew on the inside of my cheek, trying to think of how best to describe Nick. “He’s a grieving widower, but I get to see his vulnerable side. He makes me laugh. You can’t deny he’s good looking.”
She crinkles her nose further. “If you like that whole grumpy bear thing he has going on.” She gasps, her hand flying to her mouth. “You really do like him. You had that book.” She snaps her fingers. “Damn, what was it called?Grumping the Boss. Or was it Grinding?”
“Both. There’s a whole series. That’s not important. Yes, I have a fantasy of getting it on with my boss and yes, the only package I want this Christmas is his.” I close my eyes and sigh, remembering how he felt on top of me, his package grinding against me.
Sara looks even more bewildered, her face contorting even more. “So, what’s the problem? Sounds like all your Christmas wishes are coming true. Who knows, he could be the one to take your V-card.”
“That’s the problem. We were kissing, and he was unbuttoning my top, and then I got scared and left. He thinks I’m not interested, but I was scared.”
“Oh.” She turns around to reach for her mug of coffee. “What were you scared of? Did he have a huge fat cock or something?”
I shake my head. “I didn’t get to see it. It felt pretty impressive, though. But I just didn’t want him thinking I was a crappy lay and then things being awkward with us in the office when he didn’t want to pursue it further.”
Sara gives me a sympathetic smile. “That guy in college really messed you up.”
I slump against the worktop. My shoulders curl inwards as I hold the coffee and bring it to my lips. Even the caffeine can’t perk me up this morning. “I can’t go in today. Can you cover for me if Molly’s not back?”
“You want me to dress like an elf?” Her face screws up again. “Hell no. I’m not working with Seducing Santa.”
“Will you tell him I’m unwell at least? Hopefully Mr Price, the caretaker, will be back today.”
She sighs. “Of course. But why don’t you just tell him the truth? If he likes you like you like him, then he’ll be glad to be your first. Most guys get off at the thought of deflowering a virgin.”
“This isn’t the eighteenth century. I told you before. Virginity is a social construct.”
“Whatevs. Just saying. Christmas isn’t just for kids. If you open up, like literally, all your Christmas wishes will come true.” She drinks the last bit of her coffee. “I have to go. I’m already late. At least if he grumbles about my tardiness, I have some dirt on him.” She has a sinister laugh as she throws on her coat.
“Please don’t say I said anything. It’s embarrassing enough.” I glare at her as she steps out the front door of the flat.
“Okay, don’t worry. My lips are sealed.”
I curlup on the sofa with my book,Bad Boss.I really should try to find another trope. It’s all these books that’ve got me into this mess. I blow my nose again, the cold making my head fuzzy and eyes water. I’ll take the day off and by Monday, everything will be forgotten and we can go back to normal. It will all be like a bad dream. Even though it wasn’t a bad dream. It was a wonderful, amazing wet dream that I can’t stop thinking about.
My fingers trace my lips where he kissed me, then over my breasts, my nipple still tender where he bit down. My core clenches at the memory.
With the flat quiet, I pad into the bedroom in search of Mr Turbo. “There you are.” I grab the vibe from the bedside drawer and press the button, watching the rotating head spin. “You might not keep me warm at night or give forehead kisses, but you can lift my mood for a while.”
I step out of my pyjamas and settle on the bed for turbo time. With my book in hand and vibe in the other, I lose myself in the pages, thinking of Nick and how he’d feel inside me. Pressing the toy to my sensitive nipple, I imagine his mouth there again, working its way south. The rotating head presses against my sensitive spot and I lift my hips to grind against it, imagining Nick’s hand.
Bang. Bang. Bang.
I sit up in bed. My heart pounds against my ribs. I’m not expecting anyone. I turn off the vibe, pull on my PJs, and head for the door.
Bang. Bang. Bang.
I look through the peephole. My beating heart stops dead. It’s him.
“Nick?”
“Sara told me you were sick.”
“It’s just a cold.” I lean back against the door, my heart picking up the pace again. I wipe my clammy hands down the front of my snowflake pyjamas.
