He stands awkwardly. “Oh shit. Yeah. Sorry.” In the small space, he dances around me to reach the door. “Let me know if you need anything.” He pulls the door closed behind him with a gentle click of the latch.
I close my eyes, relaxing into the warm water. How the heck have I ended up here? My life is a mess. I’m a mess. Mum always said we don’t need a man, but maybe I do. It’s nice having someone take care of me. I don’t think a guy has ever run me a bath in my entire life.
He’s almost too good to be true. I can’t help but think he has some ulterior motive for taking me under his protective wing.
* * *
Puttingon clean pyjamas has never felt so good. I enter the kitchen to find the boys dishing up a Chinese takeaway.
“Poppy, I didn’t know what you like, so got a few different dishes.” Dan pulls a chair out for me, and we all sit on the bar stools around the worktop.
“Do you want a beer, Red?” Dom opens a crate of bottles and hands his brother one.
“Yes, please. Thank you, this is lovely.”
I fill up my plate and listen to their conversation.
“So, what do you two actually do for a job?”
They both look at each other. Dan clears his throat. “I work freelance. Research mainly. I’m currently working for an Italian client, which is why I’m between here and Rome.”
I study him, chewing on my spring roll. He’s so vague. Both of them are not wanting to give anything away. They could work for Mi5 for all I know. Espionage. Italian mafia. It wouldn’t be the first time I’ve been involved with gangsters. They seemed to follow Mum and me wherever we went.
The pulse in my neck throbs at a faster rate than usual. They could be undercover cops. I have nothing to hide. Only myself, but not because I’ve done anything wrong. I don’t want to testify what I know. It would make sense why they want to keep me safe.
Dom’s knuckles caress my cheek. “You okay?”
I swallow down the food rolling around my tongue along with the lump lodged in my throat and nod. He always knows when my anxiety starts? “How do you do that?”
“What?”
“Know when I’m about to hyperventilate?”
“I was in the army. I know PTSD when I see it.”
I hadn’t even thought that’s what I have, but it all makes sense now after what I witnessed. These last few months, I’ve been walking on eggshells, jumping at the slightest noise and sweating when I smell the aroma of his cigars.
Dom’s raspy voice has a way of bringing me out of the nightmare I’ve been living. I may not know much about them, but I believe I can trust them. Gazing into Dom’s brown eyes, I see hope for the first time in a long time. Hope that I can be myself again and stop running, as well as hope for a good night’s sleep again. Lord knows I need it.
Even if he insists on sleeping naked, I actually want him to share a bed with me again. It’s been a long time since I felt safe and content. I need to get a handle on these triggers.
Usually, I’m a strong, independent woman. Now I know I’m suffering with PTSD, I might recognise when something is triggering me and pull myself out of it. My triggers seem to be anything that reminds me of that night.
11
DOM
The fresh morning dew from the trees mix with the smog on the outskirts of the city where nature and metropolis collide. I lean against the Range Rover, the cool air coating my skin as I light my roll-up, inhaling my poison.
The cherry flares, much like the anger bubbling inside me, wishing I was still wrapped up in bed with her. It took everything I had to roll away from her this morning. Her button nose buried into my neck, just begging to be kissed. My fingers tangled in her hair as it splayed across my pillow.
I thought I would sleep better with her in my bed, but I find myself just watching her. This beautiful innocent woman who clings to me for safety. We’re like the forest and the city dancing together in a ballet of tragedy. She’s a breath of fresh air blighted by pollution, but I refuse to be the villain in her story. She makes me want to be a better man.
A BMW rolls to a stop in the gloomy lay-by. I bring the roll-up to my lips, taking another drag as Billy gets out of the car and walks towards me, his hand tucked under his overcoat as if he’s hiding something.
“Where is she?” Billy says, his voice low and cool as a cat.
“She’s safe.” I flick the ash from my roll up. The lay-by streetlight flickers on and off as dawn ascends the outer ring road of the city. “You have the money?”
