Page 23 of Mr. Absolutely Not!


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The motorcycle helmet scrapes across the table. My half brother works his hands into the gloves as he makes his way to the door. “You know”—he pauses—“one of these days, you’re going to want your family’s help.”

“Doubtful.” I cross my arms. “You all are the only ones who’ve asked me for help over the years. So you’ll forgive my skepticism. I don’t need you, and I never will.”

“We’ll see.” Crawford sounds eerily calm.

The door to the private dining room slams shut behind him.

This is why I wish they’d all just stayed away. It’s too complicated, too much drama.

I have my brothers. I don’t need the rest of the Svenssons.

7

MANDY

“Why won’t you answer your phone? I’m having a midlife crisis!”

“I’m at work, for god’s sake,” I hiss, cutting off my sister’s whining. “You’re only twenty-six. You’re not having a midlife crisis. You need to get a job.”

Lauren’s exaggerated cry screeches through the phone receiver. Jess winces, and Pepper jerks awake with a snort.

“You’re not being nice to me. I was cheated on. She’s pregnant. My life is over. I’m old. I’m almost as old as you, and I’m going to die alone and wrinkly.”

“Maybe you can go find a new boyfriend?” Jess suggests loudly.

“Ugh, is that your friend from college? The one who dresses like a teenage boy?” Lauren scoffs.

“There is nothing wrong with comfy pants, Lauren.” I grit my teeth when my sister huffs. “When you sit at a desk for sixteen hours a day, you need room to breathe. You wouldn’t know, though, because you’ve never worked a day in your life.”

“It’s hard work to find a rich man.”

Jess’s eyes roll back in her head.

On the other end of the line, a cupboard door slams. “Where is all your wine?”

“I’ll pick you up some on the way home.” I sigh as I unwrap a birthday-surprise cupcake one of the interns gave me for helping him fill out his insurance paperwork.

“Why can’t you move somewhere nicer? Also, you’re out of Goldfish crackers.”

“Can’t she live with your parents?” Jess asks as soon as I end the call.

“I think having Laurenandhis mother-in-law living in the house would put my dad over the edge.”

“She can’t keep living with you.”

I shrug. Even though my sister is annoying, it is nice to have company, given my stalker situation. Safety in numbers, right?

“I’m sure she’ll find a new boyfriend and move out soon.” I clasp my hands around my oversized Starbucks cup. I finally got my white-chocolate-cheesecake mocha latte, and it was worth the wait. “There are rich guys here. Salinger pays them enough.”

“Are you seriously going to sic your sister, of all people, on one of the poor, unsuspecting men at this firm?” Jess’s eyebrows have risen to her hairline.

“There has to be someone in here with a vasectomy and a death wish.”

Bang!We both jump as Salinger slams his fist against the glass wall of his office.

My latte spills down the front of my blouse. “Dammit!”

Jess hands me a wad of napkins from take-out orders past, and I blot at my shirt as I rush into his office.