Page 21 of Mr. Absolutely Not!


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“No,” I correct him, “we’re family again.”

“And you all stab family in the back.” My half brother’s shadow darkens the doorway of the private dining room.

“You’re a long way from Boston.” Hawthorne rises to stand next to me.

We watch warily as Crawford, decked out in heavy motorcycle gear,slowly stalks in.

My brothers are tense, except for Fitz.

“Bro!” He jumps up to give Crawford a hug.

Crawford briefly tightens his arm around Fitz’s neck then slaps him on the shoulders.

My other brothers relax.

Whitman pulls out a seat for Crawford. His motorcycle helmet and gloves thud on the table. With the scar on his face and military-short haircut, he looks out of place in the upscale restaurant.

“Scotch? Fishcake?” Whitman grabs Faulkner’s glass and slides it over to Crawford.

“The fuck?” I curse.

Several of my brothers glance at me apprehensively.

“He’s an adult. He can drink.” Hawthorne sounds blithe.

“No. He’s not invited.” God, my fucking brothers.

“I invited him.” Fitz’s voice is firm.

“Besides,” McCarthy adds, stealing a shrimp from Hawthorne’s plate, “maybe he wants to throw his hat in the ring.”

“Salinger is about to offload a women back onto the market,” Whitman explains to our half brother with a grin.

“None of you are dating Alma,” I warn.

Crawford smirks as he drinks the scotch, probably filing away the conversation for ammunition to use against me later.

“Not Alma,” Hawthorne reminds me. “Mandy. Your assistant. You said she was about to quit, right?”

“She has nice tits,” Faulkner remarks.

“The fuck did you just say?” The handle of my fork digs into my hand.

Faulkner flinches.

“Wow, turds of a feather really do flock together,” Crawford drawls. “You all are sick.”

“Mandy’s a grown woman,” Whitman protests.

“Sounds like she’s not going to want to waste her time with the likes of you, then.”

“Can you just finish your drink and leave?” I spit at Crawford.

He spreads his arms wide. “But it’s family-bonding time.”

I glare. “As if you’re here for such noble reasons.”

Crawford knocks back the rest of the scotch. “Damn right. I’m here to collect the tithes.”