Page 19 of Mr. Absolutely Not!


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“No, thanks. Too much work. Besides, I haven’t shaved my legs in six months.”

“You really let yourself go.” My sister reaches for her wine.

“Maybe this is a blessing.” I pat my sister on the back. “Now you can find a job, make your own money, be an independent woman—”

“I don’t want to be an independent woman. I want a man with a bank account and low self-esteem. I don’t know if I can survive this.”

“I think you’ll be okay.”

“No.” My sister sniffles and eats the last of my donut. “Your studio is smaller than my craft room. It’s like a crack den.”

She pulls the comforter over her head and starts crying again. “My life is over.”

Her limbs sprawl out, taking up all of my bed like she used to when we were kids.

Pepper whines, and I lift her up on the bed. She flops down next to Lauren with a world-weary sigh. My sister’s arm snakes out from under the comforter, pulling the dog into the soft warmth with her.

Gulping my wine, I huddle on the floor, researching lawyers.

After sending a few of them a message, I feel the wine start to take effect, and the tension eases out of my body. Stretching out my legs, I grab a pillow from the bed, resting it against the white bookcase that had followed me from my childhood bedroom to college and through a series of menial and underpaid jobs.

“It’s going to be fine,” I whisper in the dark. “I have everything under control.”

The blaring siren of my phone ringtone breaks the calm.

On the other end, Salinger’s voice is cold. “I need you to come in early today. I trust that’s not a problem.”

Motherfucker.

6

SALINGER

Ihated every second of being in the military. It was a necessary evil to take care of my brothers. But it can’t be denied that I gained a valuable skill from that time—the ability to operate at full capacity on little to no sleep.

An ingenious move on my part, calling Mandy back into the office after her little late-night stunt. It came to me during the drive back to my penthouse.

Mandy practically sleepwalks through the morning. When she brings me my lunch, she pauses in the middle of my office, blinking and looking confused, like she’s just woken up and found herself there.

My stomach growls. She ordered from the same place as yesterday. It smells even better than before. There is also more of it.

“Mandy,” I bark.

“Sorry,” she murmurs. Dark circles underline her brown eyes, and her shirt is on backward.

Standing up, I cross the carpet in two easy steps, taking the tray from her.

“I can do it,” she protests.

“If you drop this food, I might just lose patience and fire you.”

She yawns, one hand coming up to cover her mouth.

“Lucky for you,” I continue, sitting back down at my desk and pulling up one of the reports she’d sent me that night. “I have to leave early today. So no need to try and one-up the boss. You’ll never beat me.”

“Gentlemen, today is a good day.”My eyes scan over my brothers, all with my same coloring.

“Did our darling Faulkner’s other testicle finally drop?” Fitz flashes an eat-shit grin at our youngest brother.