What the hell had I been thinking?
I didn’t know if I was upset about the food, the fact I had almost admitted everything about my childhood to Lexi, or the fact that I still couldn’t stop thinking about her body.
“These are intrusive thoughts,” I said, the words muffled under the water, the air bubbles rising to the surface.
I broke the tension of the water, shaking my head, spraying droplets to scatter over the pool.
The cold water had only barely helped me calm my racing thoughts.
“It’s because you haven’t slept,” I told myself, climbing out of the water. The air was freezing, and while the chill numbed my body, it couldn’t numb my mind.
I stripped off the wet clothes, leaving them in a pile on the terrace, and padded inside to the kitchen. I put on the electric kettle to boil water for tea because that seemed like something a normal person would do.
The leftovers from the aborted Tuesday lunch and a third of the pale-pink cake were in the fridge when I opened it.
Normally staring into the packed fridge was enough to calm me, but not today. I felt horrible about all the food I had wasted.
I’ll make a donation to the food bank.
But it wasn’t enough—didn’t feel like enough.
I should sleep.
But I had slept yesterday, shockingly, considering it had been Tuesday.
One minute I had been lying there in the dark, laughing to myself about Lexi and that ridiculous cake, then the next the sun was streaming through the glass windows of the master bedroom.
That wasn’t happening tonight.
It might have if you had been able to keep it together around Lexi.
I headed upstairs and changed into thin workout clothes.
I deserved to freeze.
It was misty outside on the sidewalk. The sun was quickly setting behind rolling dark clouds. Lexi had stolen all the sunshine with her when she’d left.
I let my gloved hands hang loosely by my sides, like I was looking for a fight, which I was. That was why I roamed the streets at night, like Batman, except I never actually did anything. It wasn’t the 1970s in Manhattan, and especially in my neighborhood, there was nothing but wealthy to extremely wealthy people.
It was highly unlikely I was going to stop so much as a porch pirate, let alone prevent a kidnapping.
But what could I do?
I walked quickly through the misty rain, wading through the pools of streetlight, scanning the passing traffic.
There were more people out the further I went out from my upscale neighborhood.
As I walked, a part of me wished Lexi was there just for the distraction her chatter would provide.
Make no mistake, that was all I wanted.
I clenched my gloved hands. I couldn’t think about her in that bikini. But honestly, if someone was going to sunbathe in their boss’s house, why wouldn’t they at least wear a full swimsuit bottom instead of …that?
Maybe she’s interested in you.
It wouldn’t be the first time someone had inelegantly thrown herself at me. My wealth seemed to attract a certain type of woman.
I had acted on it once but swiftly learned my lesson.
