“I lived there too,” he argued.
“You came down for maybe an hour a day, and the rest of the time we were crawling all over each other like cockroaches,” I spat out. “Do you even care about the conditions you kept your own children in?”
He frowned at me, like the thought had never fucking occurred to him.
“You ruined my fucking life, asshole. I am a shell of a person.” I stabbed at my chest. “I can’t function in the world. I am so alone. My god, do you realize that you ruined me?”
“Grayson, no, no. Grayson, no, I didn’t ruin your life. I made you into the man you are.” He laughed, raising his hands like he was praising the gods for his good fortune. “Look at you! I have magazines. They let me save them, the ones your picture is on.”
He grabbed my wrist, his fingers weak and bony.
“There’s no way you would have built that company from nothing without the adversity I put you through. You would have been just another spoiled brat, singing on Broadway or working as a bartender or something equally embarrassing,” he said derisively. “Now look at you.”
I yanked my hand back.
“The alternative to your actions wasn’t me being a Broadway singer or a bartender,” I said slowly. “I wouldn’t have existed if you weren’t a monster.”
“Exactly.” He slammed his fist on the table.
The guards yelled at him.
“By the way, you’re welcome,” he said matter-of-factly.
Fuck this shit.
“You owe me,” he sniffled and wiped his nose on his sleeve. “You owe me everything.”
“I don’t owe you shit. I’m going to let you rot here. I fucking hate you,” I whispered.
“You don’t mean that. We are the same,” my father said, tapping the side of his head. “No one comes to visit me, none of the girls, or your brothers. And I bet,” he added conspiratorially, “that they don’t visit you either. They hate you, don’t they? Just like they hate me. You and me, son, we are misunderstood men. I tell you, we’ve been wronged. They didn’t appreciate everything we did for them, did they? They didn’t appreciate what you did for them. Only I do.”
He pressed a hand to his chest. “You rescued them. I respect that. I know you haven’t visited me because you were worried I would be mad at you, but I’m not, Grayson. You were always my favorite.” My dad smiled at me.
It was demented.
He didn’t care. He didn’t care about any of it. He was safe and secure in his own little world. Consequences meant nothing to him.
This was a horrible mistake.
“I can’t believe I thought I was going to get any sort of closure from you,” I said, unable to stop my voice from catching. “You’re insane; you are fucking delusional. You aren’t sorry for what you did, and even worse, you seem unable to comprehend the amount of hurt and pain you have caused, not just to me, not justto my brothers and our mothers, but to their family and friends too.”
“You sound like that stupid judge.” My father crossed his arms and rolled his eyes.
“Fuck you,” I told him. “I’m done.”
“Don’t you sass me, boy. You take that back. I made you. Hey, sit down!”
I ignored him and stood up, buttoning my suit jacket.
“Where are you going? We’re friends, Grayson,” Stuart insisted. “I’m your best friend. I’m your only friend.”
“Wrong,” I told him. “I don’t have any friends.”
“Can’t you at least give me money for the commissary?” he whined after me.
I kept it together through picking up my ID and being checked for contraband, and was out into the parking lot before it really hit me.
I had been face-to-face with my father.
