I nodded.
Scotches were brought, and food was ordered. Marius was in what I deemed his handler mode, where he was trying to butter up people in order to broach a difficult topic.
I took a sip of my scotch and waited for him to ask me if I’d fired Lexi yet.
“So,” he said finally. “How’s your nose?”
“I sneezed this morning and didn’t feel like I’d been punched in the face.”
“Staying positive, I see,” he remarked. “Are you going to see your brothers again?”
“Lexi says yes, but I don’t think they’ll want to see me again. But I am going to see my father.” The words came tumbling out.
Marius’s courtroom mask was on.
“Are you?”
“You can tell me it’s a terrible idea,” I assured him. “I won’t be offended. I know that’s a bad look for the company.”
“Man, screw the company. Well,” he amended, “not really—we have tens of thousands of employees across the globe—but I think this is a big step for you and a good step, and I’m here for you. I’ll go with you.”
“That’s hardly in your job description,” I said dryly.
His lips thinned. “I don’t want you to have to go through that alone.”
“I’ll survive.”
“There’s surviving and then there’s thriving.”
“You sound like a self-help book.” I looked down at my drink then back up at him. “So you really think I should go?”
“Do you want me to tell you it’s a bad idea?” He cocked his head.
I sighed. “No, I want your honest opinion. Also I’m regretting my policy not to hire yes-men.” I smiled wanly to let him know I was kidding.
“I’m not going to give you an absolute,” he said, carefully weighing the words. “Because ultimately you need to make the decision, and then you have to live with it. However, you do need to think about the possibility that this might be your only chance to talk with your father. You never know what could happen. Stuart could die next week, and then there will be no opportunity for closure, to tell him how you feel, to ask him questions. That’s it. Done. Finito.”
“Seize the day,” I said dully.
“If that’s the answer you can live with.”
Marius didn’t understand,I decided when I returned to the penthouse later that evening.
It wasn’t just a matter of seeing my father or accepting the possibility of never having closure. My relationship with Lexi was on the line. If I bailed, I didn’t know what would happen. She might write me off as a lost cause, she might get mad, or she might leave. Sure, there was a possibility that she would be kind and understanding, but I couldn’t take that chance. I had thought Sam and I were on a good trajectory, and that had blown up in my face. I was never going to have a relationship with my brothers, and I sure as hell wasn’t having one with my mother.
Lexi was all I had. She was my only shot at happiness.
She was worth it. Right? She had to be. I didn’t want to be alone anymore.
The broken furniture had been removed, I noticed, when I set foot in the penthouse.
Music filtered down from upstairs.
Lexi was in the master bedroom closet.
“Why are you here?” I said more harshly than I had intended.
She turned to face me.
