“It’s fine, Mom. It will grow back.”
“Okay, I can tell we’re annoying you.”
“You’re not. I love you guys.”
“We love you more than the moon and stars,” my dad said in Goofy’s voice.
“She’s the best daughter in the whole world,” Mickey concurred.
“We love you, Lexi,” my mother sang out.
“Bye, guys! I love you! Talk to you again soon.”
I flopped down on Grayson’s bed after I ended the call. “Oh my gosh.”
Grayson’s eyes narrowed at me.
“Did you tell them this was where you were staying tonight?”
“Not exactly … no.”
“You have a problem.”
“I told you, fellow secret toxic trait buddy, that I had issues.”
He shook his head.
“Now,” I said, “where were we?”
“You just had a FaceTime call with your parents. There were hand puppets.” He was incredulous. “I’m not going to fuck you now.”
36
GRAYSON
Iregretted it immediately as soon as she’d left.
You should have fucked her.
I didn’t want to be the one who ruined her though.
She didn’t seem all that ruined when you had your tongue on her clit.
In fact, she had seemed pretty happy about it.
I had moved Crumpet the pet rock—I had to find a different name—to my study. I walked in and opened a drawer where I kept the small rake. Yes, a pet rock was stupid, but I found it calming to run the rake through the sand where he lived.
Sitting on top of the pile of stuff from my briefcase was a note.
You are amazing at oral sex.
There was a multitude of smiley face stickers surrounding the words.
“What the fuck?” I turned the note over.
This virgin has been pleasantly surprised.
More smiley faces along with cherry stickers that smelled—I sniffed them—faintly of fruit.
