“Guess you and I just attract the worst type of men.” My mom patted my hand.
“There you are, Merrie!” Bettina and the senior citizen brigade including Ida and Dottie, power walked up to me.
“I’m writing an exposé on you,” Dottie informed me, “and I wanted to schedule an exclusive interview.”
“My daughter loves Christmas,” my mom told Dottie earnestly, “and she is already planning for next year’s Christmas. Isn’t that right, Jingleball?”
“Are you planning a Christmas wedding?” Dottie asked me.
“A Christmas what? No. I’m not getting married. Who would I even marry?”
“Matt,” Ida said like that was the most obvious thing in the world.
“Matt can eat coal for Christmas,” I snapped.
“Actually, that’s very good for your digestion,” Dottie said. “It helps leach out the toxins.”
“No, Dottie.” Aunt Bettina was exasperated. “That’s charcoal, not the coal Santa gives to naughty kids.”
“Matt’s not marrying his ex,” Ida told me, handing me a newspaper.
“Your boyfriend must have sicced the lawyers on the tabloids,” Dottie cackled. “There’s a front-page retraction.”
“Oh my word.” I scanned the newspaper. The newsprint smeared on my hands as it dawned on me that I had made a horrible mistake.
“I need to call Matt,” I said, freaking out. I pulled out my phone.
“Just talk to him,” Bettina said. “I’m sure he’ll understand.”
“I can’t.”
“Of course you can,” she urged me. “Just be an adult and admit you were wrong. Then offer him a blow job for his troubles.”
“No,” I said, waving my phone, “I literally can’t. I deleted his number and all his messages and call log. Crap, crap, crap.”
“You better go get him. Now that the other women in town know Matt Frost is available, they’re going to be all over him,” Ida said.
I tossed my trash into the elf trash can, not stopping to listen to the song it sang to thank me. Matt wasn’t at his office. He wasn’t at his condo. The doorman told me he hadn’t seen Matt since the day before yesterday.
“What am I going to do?” I had had my chance at a great Christmas romance and I had blown it.
“Oh my gosh,” Olivia said, running up to me as I walked through the Christmas market back to my shop. She hugged me. “I am so sorry. This is all my fault!” My friend tucked her hair behind her ear nervously. “I never should have told you about him decorating the estate house and the honeymoon.”
“You thought you were looking out for me,” I assured her. “Plus, there were the pictures and the texts and catching them kissing.”
“I’m going to buy you a snack,” Olivia promised me. “The pasta stall near Third is selling fettuccini alfredo today.”
“You seriously don’t have to. Your friend’s account has a very large balance in it since you helped me with all the cookies.”
“Pasta,” Olivia said emphatically.
I sighed as Olivia hauled me through the crowd of Christmas market-goers.
“I should really try to find Matt,” I said sadly. “I can’t believe I ruined this. He probably hates me. Maybe he already found someone else. Maybe he moved to the West Coast. What if I never see him again?”
I started sobbing. We stopped in front of the pasta stall, and Olivia waved frantically to the stall owner.
“We have an emergency here,” she said. “I need your cheesiest fettuccini alfredo.”
