Merrie took hold of his two front hooves and tried to drag the huge animal toward the door.
“I just wanted to ask if I could keep him on your property,” she said, looking at me through the tangled curls in her face.
“No,” I said, trying not to yell. “Absolutely not. You need to call animal control.”
“I’m not abandoning him! He’s family,” she yelled at me, dropping the reindeer’s hooves. Prancer rolled over on his back.
“That is the fattest reindeer I have ever seen,” Evan Harrington said, frowning.
“How many reindeer have you seen in your life?” Chris asked.
“He’s just getting ready for the winter,” Merrie explained, jumping to Prancer’s defense.
“I think you’re feeding him too much,” the Richmond brother said.
“He has a sweet tooth,” Merrie fretted.
“We’ll all go to another conference room,” I said. “I’m so sorry about the disruption.” I wanted to scream at Merrie, but I needed to somehow salvage this horrible situation.
“We’ll continue the investment presentation.”
“This is all my fault,” Merrie said to the investors.
“Merrie, you don’t—”
“You all absolutely have to invest in Matt’s company,” she told the crowd of hedge fund managers who were pressed against the back wall while the half-ton reindeer snored on the floor.
“Don’t think this meeting is in any way reflective of Matt. He is very organized and on top of things. FarmTech Solutions is a great organization. I mean, who doesn’t want raspberries in the middle of winter, right? Did you taste some of the fruit he grew? It is amazing. I’ve never tasted a better pear.”
I ran a hand over my mouth. The hedge fund managers did not seem at all impressed. My sister had her my-little-brother-is-a-fucking-idiot face on.
The horrible realization that I would not be securing any funding today began dawning on me.
“Maybe we can reschedule,” Evan suggested.
“No!” Merrie cried. “You all have to invest. I—look.” She pulled out a Tupperware container. “I have spicy cheese straws to bribe you.”
“Merrie,” I said, going to take her hand.
She brushed me off and started passing out cheese straws.
Chris looked at his snack dubiously.
“Matt helped make them last night. He actually did a good job. And it’s nice to have a strong person grate the cheese.”
“You cooked these?” Belle asked me.
“I can cook,” I told my sister.
“No, you can’t,” she replied and took a bite.
“I supervised him,” Merrie chirped.
“Pretty good,” Evan said, eating his cheese straw. Merrie offered him another.
“Good enough to invest?” she coaxed.
“They’re not going to invest because you bribed them with food,” I said exasperated. “This isn’t a small-town meeting.”
