“I’m not chasing after her,” I argued.
“Yeah,” Walker said, laughing, “he’s just pining after her from afar like a fourteen-year-old boy.”
“I will not have you ruining our sisters’ adoption by scaring off your assistant,” Greg warned.
“Don’t worry, his dick’s not that big!” Walker snickered.
“Grow up,” Greg said, disgusted. He peered at the hamburgers. “Those are burning.”
“You complained last time that they were too underdone,” I reminded him.
“I don’t want to eat rubber,” Greg snapped.
Jesus, my family.
Liam came out with a tray of snacks.
“Tess sends her regards,” he said. “Also, dude.” He lowered his voice. “Are you sleeping with your assistant?”
“Wait, you’re sleeping with her?” Mike asked. He reached for the grill, and I banged him on the hand with the spatula.
“No, and we’re not having this conversation.”
“If you’re not, then I’m asking her out as soon as the adoption goes through.”
“What the fuck?” I grabbed Mike by the collar, holding the metal spatula up to his face. “Don’t you ever ask her out. She’s mine.”
“Fuck you,” he snarled, shoving me off. “Greg!”
“I know you’re not asking me to interfere in your petty fights,” my older brother sneered. “Someone has to keep our family from running off the rails.”
“Is the food almost done?” Enola asked from the doorway. “Our Jell-O needs a little bit longer.”
Mike made a gagging noise, and I kicked him.
“We could just serve it for dessert,” Liam suggested.
“I thought it had fish in it?” Mike asked.
Or we could just toss it.
“You let them make a Jell-O?” Greg asked me, brow furrowed. “What in god’s name possessed you to do that?”
“It’s not a cookout without Jell-O,” Carl said, coming out with a jiggly red slice on a plate.
“Ophelia made this.” He slurped his snack. “It’s 7 Up, mayo, and Vienna sausages.”
“Why can’t people just make a dessert Jell-O?” Liam asked, shaking his fist at the sky.
“Oh, June made one of those too,” Carl added. “It has pecans and chocolate chips in it.”
“That can’t be that bad,” I said.
“And olives.”
“Barf,” Liam said.
I scooped the last of the hamburgers into the aluminum container, and we trooped inside. I set the tray on the table and poured myself another drink.
