It’s not any of your concern, I tried to tell myself. If he was just going to be an asshole and was planning on firing me anyways, what did I care?
But I did adore those little girls. I wanted them to be happy.
“Beck?” I said a little louder. “Do you want to come make cupcakes with us?”
22
Beck
Islumped on the couch in my study after Tess left.
I should have gone out and made it up to the girls, but I felt too off-kilter. That evening had gone horribly.
Greg:I’m assuming that since you haven’t been on the group text bragging that you fucked up.
Greg:You better not lose our sisters. I am not in the mood.
Beck:I won’t lose them. I’m sure it’s going to be fine.
Beck:I mean, I know it’s going to be fine.
Greg:That instills such confidence in your abilities not to be a complete fuckup.
I sat back on the couch, one hand still on my phone, the other over my eyes.
Why was I off my game?
I wanted to blame Tess, but the truth was it was because of my father.
A couple weeks ago, he had reappeared, tried to kidnap the mayor of Harrogate, then was arrested. After a decade of working to bring him down, he was finally in jail.
I picked up my phone to navigate to the New York Department of Corrections website. I searched for Leif Svensson’s name and clicked on it. His mug shot appeared, and a face very much like my own stared back, defiant.
He was being held without bail. The trial would be months away.
The way my sisters had looked at me in the car, it was how I used to look at my father—with fear, like he was a wild animal, violent and unpredictable.
I didn’t want to be like him.
I stood by the door of the study, resting my head against the solid oak. The girls were laughing and giggling with Tess in the kitchen. I desperately wanted to join them.
But instead, I sat back at my desk, opened my laptop, and tried to figure out some way of salvaging the AstraDrone contract.
I had barely sleptthe night before. After tossing and turning and trying not to think about my fucked-up childhood, I had finally given up and gone for a strenuous workout in the building’s gym.
As I was racking the weights, several seniors applauded.
“You ought to charge tickets!” Vera said. “We better raise the dues at the next HOA meeting because you and all your brothers are so hot that you’re going to burn this whole place down, and we’re going to need a big contingency fund.”
Mindful of Greg’s devious plan, I said to them casually, “Funny you should mention the HOA, because we’re thinking of suggesting a few changes to the bylaws. I don’t suppose you all might support us?”
“You can have anything you want after that display!”
Though I felta little more centered after the workout, I had been hit full force with guilt over how I had treated my sisters last night and how I had treated Tess.
They were in the kitchen, all making breakfast, when I returned.
The girls glared at me, and Tess raised the spatula in a vaguely threatening manner.
