I reached for another muffin. Maeve batted it out of my hand and dragged me out of my chair.
“Where are we going?”
“You better show Beck you’re still interested,” Maeve said, shoving me into the women’s bathroom and locking the door. “If he thinks you weren’t into it, he’s just going to move on. You know how Beck is—he’s decisive. Once he’s done with you, he’s done, and he’s moved on. You don’t want him making moves on Cressida.”
“What am I supposed to do? He’s not even here; he’s at a meeting all day,” I said.
Maeve looked at me critically. “Topless photo,” she said, nodding.
“We’re in the office bathroom! Ugh, I need a croissant.”
“You can have a croissant after you seal the deal with Beck. No way can Cressida have him. The world is already unfair, but I need this one injustice to not happen.” My friend pulled out her makeup bag and started fussing with my face.
“It will be so epic when he falls in love with you, and you get married, and Cressida’s invited to the wedding and—”
“Whoa, whoa, whoa! Hold up. I’m not marrying Beck. I don’t date, remember? And I certainly don’t marry.”
“Would it be such a bad thing to have Beck as your husband?” Maeve asked, swiping mascara on my eyelashes.
“You mean Beck, our horrible boss?”
“You mean Beck, who has the biggest dick known to man?”
“I actually don’t know how big it is,” I admitted.
Maeve frowned. “You haven’t seen it?”
“I told you I fell asleep.”
“Boss move,” Maeve said. “He just laid down a gauntlet. You have to counterattack.”
“Oh lord. I don’t even know how to do a topless photo.”
“You better make it tasteful,” Maeve said, undoing the first few buttons on my blouse. “I’m sure Beck gets a lot of topless photos from models and actresses and the like. But you have super nice tits. Way better than any model.”
“Maybe they’re too big,” I wondered as I pulled them out of my bra.
“No such thing for a guy,” she said emphatically. “Hold them up! Rock what you got and just snap a selfie!”
We looked at the photo.
“I didn’t think I had quite that many chins,” I said.
“Take another. Try from up high.”
We inspected the next photo.
“You look like you just had a stroke.”
“You take it!”
“I can’t take it. Then it looks like you were with someone topless,” Maeve protested.
“But I am!”
“We’re besties,” Maeve said. “I hardly count. But Beck doesn’t know that. What if he thinks you’re sending him a used photo?”
I rolled my eyes.
