“Yes,” Tatiana insisted, “and I want to paint the venue orange.”
“We’ll have to talk with the venue owner,” Ivy said slowly.
“It’s my wedding, and if I want it to be orange, it will be orange!” the bridezilla screeched.
“We can serve orange Creamsicle cake,” Sophie suggested.
“I don’t care what the cake is, but it needs to be orange with lots of gold leaf,” the bride said stubbornly.
Her sister snickered. “Yeah, totally make that whole shit show orange. Then everyone will see what a disaster your marriage is.”
“You’re just jealous!” Tatiana said.
“Not of your orange wedding,” her sister shot back.
“Never mind,” the bride said haughtily. “I don’t want it orange anymore.”
“No gold leaf either?” I asked hopefully.
“No, I want the gold leaf and the peacocks and crystals and orchids dripping from a giant chandelier in the center of the room,” she insisted.
“Back to the dress,” Brea coaxed.
“It needs to have a wow factor,” Tatiana commanded. “I want to be sexy but traditional with a little bohemian, and it needs to be avant-garde because I want a dress no one else has. And, of course, a tiara.”
“You know,” I said, starting to sketch, “you might go for Louis the XIII meets country chic with flowers and jewels intermingled.”
“Might help offset some of that gold leaf,” Sophie muttered.
“It can be very classy to marry natural elements with colder things like precious metals and jewels.” I showed Tatiana a sketch of a braided gold tiara interwoven with tiny roses, crystals, pearls, and of course, gold leaf shaped into a flowering vine.
“Fine,” she said. “I’ll take that.”
“We could make matching ones for your wedding party,” I offered.
“Not as glamorous, of course,” Tatiana said haughtily. “They can just have flower crowns.”
“Of course,” I said. “We want the bride to stand out.”
“Might I suggest,” Brea added, “that if we’re going to go with a ball gown, we do a gauzy skirt? A lot of ball gowns are a bit stiff and symmetrical, but if we made one with layers of tulle and petticoats, we would have more of a fairy-princess-meets-Gossip Girlvibe.”
“We can sew silk flowers onto the train,” I said excitedly, “and in your hair. You’ll be a goddess.”
“Yes! A goddess!” Tatiana clapped. “And I want gold leaf on all of it.”
“Of course.”
“Do you know what color the groomsmen will be wearing?” Ivy asked.
“Not orange.” Tatiana stuck her tongue out at her sister. “My fiancé…” She not so subtly showed off the humongous diamond ring on her hand as she spoke. “Was supposed to go talk to his sons about the wedding. They’d better be in it.”
“Are they wearing tuxes or suits?” Brea asked.
“Three-piece suit in gray,” Tatiana said firmly. “My fiancé has a super-hot older son. I saw him in a three-piece suit once, and it was all I could do not to strip him down right there.” She fanned herself.
“Because nothing says you’re in love with someone like lusting after his son.” Her sister rolled her eyes.
“Girls,” their mother begged, hauling herself off the couch to go to the snack table full of yummy treats Elsie had provided. The heavyset woman scarfed down a duck slider.
