She whirled around, key ring jangling, brandishing a pink canister of pepper spray at me.
“Whoa, whoa!”
“Stop following me,” she said loudly, waving the canister in my direction.
“Jeez, I was just trying to do something nice for you.”
“Fuck you.” She stomped off down the street to the subway.
“So how was your date?” Boris asked me when I returned to the limo.
“Ithoughtit went great. Apparently not.”
* * *
“And she just left?”Josh Svensson asked me the next evening at our weekly poker tournament. I was losing. Probably because I was playing with three Svensson brothers and I was sure they were all conspiring against me.
“Can you believe it?” I said, still annoyed. “I purposely bought that hovel because it had the perfect view of my tower. I had a limo waiting with champagne and a nice dinner planned. She went home and worked instead of staying with me.”
“She went to work? It doesn’t sound like you two are compatible at all,” Liam Svensson said.
“I work!” I scoffed.
“Barely. What time did you get up this afternoon? Two?” Josh teased.
“Twelve. But I went to bed late. Grace threw me off my sleep schedule. Damn it, I can’t believe she turned me down. No one turns me down! And it was so obvious she wanted to sleep with me, too.”
“Didn’t get laid and got told off,” Eric said with a laugh.
“At least he wasn’t pepper-sprayed. Raise,” Josh said.
“Shit.” I put more chips in the center of the table. The Svenssons’ older brother Greg had threatened them with disownment and grievous bodily harm if they gambled with money, so instead we gambled with dares.
The last time I’d won, I had made Eric stand outside of Jennifer Aniston’s New York house and serenade her with a Gregorian chant complete with the whole monk getup. Now he was winning, and I knew he was gunning for me.
“Just show up at her apartment, apologize, and ask her for pity sex,” Liam suggested.
“He’s looking for a wife, not a hookup,” Eric remarked.
“No, I’m not!”
“Then you would have just hooked up with her in the hovel,” Eric retorted. “Admit it. You’re ready to settle down.”
“I don’t want a gold digger, and all women who want to get married fit that bill,” I said, glaring at my card hand. “I just want someone to hang out with regularly. I need a roommate you have sex with.”
“So a wife.” Josh snickered.
“Cards on the table,” Liam said.
I swore as I looked at everyone’s hand. “I lost. Fuck.”
“You should have folded,” Eric told me and swept up the chips.
“I was distracted. I had a hard night.”
“Maybe Eric will go easy on you.” Liam patted me on the shoulder.
“As if!” Eric said with a snort. He put his briefcase on the table.
