“I don’t know what this city’s come to,” Gran insisted. The bartender rolled his eyes.
“Back in my day…”
He slammed the door in our faces.
We looked around.
“There’s a pizza place across the street,” Ivy said, pointing.
We got strange looks, trooping in with our ribbons and my bridal crown.
“What’ll ya have?” the bored waitress asked when we slid into the booths.
“Wine,” Ivy begged.
“And pepperoni pizza,” I added.
“You getting married?” the waitress asked around the wad of gum in her mouth as she took our order.
“Prettiest bride in the world right here!” Gran said, patting me on the shoulder.
“Who’s the lucky man?”
“I, uh, I actually don’t know.”
6
Chris
“Get the groom another shot!” Eric called out. It was four a.m. I was getting married in six hours.
“Fake married,” I reminded myself and adjusted the gold crown on my head that read GROOM in diamonds that sparkled from the pulsing lights of the club’s dance floor.
“To a real woman though,” Eric reminded me.
“Maybe she’ll be hot,” Josh said cheerfully as a server in a skintight white minidress brought over a tray of chilled shot glasses of vodka. She was pretty, with long blond hair and a tiny waist.
I toasted her. “If I wasn’t getting married tomorrow, I would totally ask you out.”
The server made a face at me.
“It’s not like that,” I said quickly, “I don’t even know this chick!”
“You’re marrying someone you don’t know?” she asked in a thick Staten Island accent.
“Fake marrying,” I corrected
Her frown got even deeper. “Like an arranged marriage?”
“More like a mail-order-bride type deal.”
“Uh-huh.”
“No, I mean not in a creepy way! I lost a poker game.”
“He has a gambling problem,” Eric said to the waitress.
“Not like that! I have cash. I tip very well,” I assured her, standing up quickly and pulling out a wad of hundred-dollar bills.
