“Totally a hundred percent fake,” he assured me as I signed the forms.
“Also, fuck your brothers.”
Gunnar laughed. “It will be fun!”
“Doubtful.”
“You’re going to learn so much about yourself. We have a sex therapist and a relationship coach,” he said, ushering me out of his office and down the hall.
In a studio sat an older Black man, a pretty Indian woman, and a middle-aged blonde lady. Zane, one of the camera guys, adjusted the lights as I sat in the chair in front of them.
“It’s very nice to meet you, Chris. I am Rainbow, and these are my colleagues Priyanka and Dr. Kwame.” The older blonde woman had a hippy-dippy vibe. “We’re so happy to be with you on this life-altering journey.”
I shifted in my seat. “I’m not sure how life altering it’s really going to be, but whatever.”
“Are you ready to get married?” Priyanka asked me, her gold earrings tinkling softly.
“No.”
Gunnar made a motion with his hand. I gritted my teeth.
“Of course. I am looking for the perfect woman to spend my life with.”
“And what does the perfect woman look like?” Dr. Kwame asked.
My thoughts wandered to Grace.
Guess I blew that shot.
“She works hard,” I said, “doesn’t just sit at home and do nothing. She runs her own business. She’s witty and intelligent.”
“Any physical characteristics?”
I blew out a breath. “You’re going to make me sound shallow.”
“We’re not here to judge,” Dr. Kwame said. “Physical attraction is important.”
“Tits or ass?” Rainbow-woman asked.
Ugh.
“Both?”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes?”
“You don’t sound sure.”
I thought about Grace and her curvy figure next to me in the Uber.
“Both,” I said more confidently.
Priyanka made notes. “Anal play?”
I choked on my spit.
“What kind of questions are these?”
