“Or something else in my mouth,” I muttered.
Kate laughed. “You should have just slept with him then kicked him out.”
“Ugh. Sleep with Hunter? You know what happened last time. It would be a disaster. Trust me, I’ve been down that road before.”
“Then find someone else.”
“Who, Frank? Or Josh with his practical jokes? I’d probably take off his pants, and a jack-in-the-box would pop out.”
“Or,” Kate said, waggling her eyebrows, “Walter.”
“I don’t know.” I chewed on my lip.
“You don’t have to be in a ‘let’s get married’ type of relationship with Walter. You just need a palate cleanser from Hunter. That was always your problem: you didn’t have someone intense and sexy enough as a rebound to fully get over Hunter, so you’ve been stuck in a sexual purgatory. You need to break free!”
“I can’t believe you’re trying to set me up with your father-in-law. Am I that hopeless?”
“Yes,” Kate said, pressing her hands together. “But we love you anyways.”
I flopped on the couch in the office. “Why is my life a disaster?”
“Because you’re horny, and it’s taking up an outsized portion of your brain. I know I think better about your campaign after going back to Manhattan and jumping Grant’s bones,” Kate mused. “I didn’t even realize how horny I had been until we did it like five times in his office. He finally was like, ‘Look, I’ll eat you out all day, but I’m afraid my dick is going to fall off.’”
“Jeez.”
“Yup.”
I shifted. Sexdidsound nice.
“Free your inner sex goddess,” Kate instructed. “You need to let her out so you can banish Hunter and his sex demons once and for all.”
I groaned, curling up on the couch.
“Okay, fine.”
“Perfect!” she texted furiously on her phone. “He is very excited.”
Even I was actually excited, though a part of me wished it were Hunter.
“And do some landscaping,” Kate coached me. “Also, wear that thong I bought you that I know you never took out for a spin.”
“They feel weird,” I complained.
“Yeah, but you’re not going to have it on that long!”
My phone rang. I grabbed it, needing a distraction from thinking about getting laid.
“This is Harrogate High School,” an irritated-sounding secretary said. “You need to come pick up your sisters.”
* * *
When I walkedinto the office, Hunter was already there. He looked at me a little too long. His younger brothers Bruno and Nate were slumped in chairs in the beige conference room of the school, holding packs of ice to their various bruises.
My sisters were sitting opposite them at the table, arms crossed, glowering.
“Deputy Mayor,” the principal said, shaking my hand. “I understand you all are going through a difficult time, what with all the financial turmoil.”
I narrowed my gaze at Hunter.
