“Whatever it is, no.” I shook my head. “After that date with Josh or John or whoever he was, I’m not going along with any more of your other crazy plans.”
“But you said it was the best lasagna of your entire life!” Kate reminded me. “So it wasn’t all bad.”
“They made me sing in front of his entire family, who I had just met. Who takes someone to meet their family on their first date?”
“Didn’t you meet Hunter’s brothers almost immediately?”
“That was different,” I protested. “He brought them over to steal my car!”
“We need to stop playing defense and start playing offense,” Kate said, going to one of the cabinets against the wall. “Hunter is trying to throw you off your game by saturating your brain with sexy, dirty thoughts about him.”
“I’m not having those kinds of thoughts!” I said, face hot.
Kate raised an eyebrow. “Really? Because you spent like two hours yesterday over drinks describing in excruciating detail all the micro movements he was making when he was half naked at the meeting yesterday morning.”
“He was flaunting his chest at me.” I crossed my arms.
“Because he knows it drives you crazy.”
“I wouldn’t say that.”
Kate held out an outfit to me. “Your chest is more impressive than his. You have two nuclear weapons. Let’s use them.” She shoved me into the small office bathroom. “Change and let’s see what we’re working with.”
I carefully peeled off my old suit and struggled into the new one.
“It’s too tight,” I complained.
The door opened, and Kate threw in a package of spandex shapewear. “Put that on underneath.”
I wheezed as I pulled on the Spanx. It was the kind that was like a pair of cutoff overalls, and I was seriously regretting that third breakfast sandwich I had taken after the meeting was over. And the pastry.
“Maybe I should try this tomorrow,” I said, struggling to shimmy into the skirt. “Maybe today is not my day.”
“The big train ribbon cutting ceremony is in a little bit. Today is the first day of Hunter’s demise.”
“This top is too low-cut,” I said, exiting the bathroom.
“No, this is exactly how it’s supposed to fit, see?” Kate said, showing me a picture of a model in the outfit. “Now breathe out!” She grabbed the lapels and buttoned the suit jacket. It pushed my boobs up even higher on my chest. Then she fastened a belt around my waist and twisted my hair up into a bun on top of my head.
“Oooh, yes!” My friend rubbed her hands together gleefully. “When Hunter sees you, they’re going to have to take him to the emergency room to have his jaw stapled back on.”
“I bet he doesn’t even show up at the train ribbon cutting.”
“Of course he’s going! It’s free publicity. The train serves his brother’s company, and Hunter’s going to try and keep you even more off-balance. But he’s the one who’s going down!”
I pulled at the skirt. “I have to pee.”
“Oh, for the love of—” Kate pulled a box cutter out of her purse. “Unfortunately for you, I bought the off-brand Spanx, and they don’t have a convenience outlet. So necessity is the mother of invention, right?”
34
Hunter
The schools had let out early for the day so all the children could see the new train. My brother Tanner, who owned a train shipping company, had put up some of the funds to buy the new engine.
“I can’t see how you’re not sick of small-town events,” he said, sunglasses obscuring his eyes.
“He barely goes to any of them,” Greg said irritably.
